82 HEALTHY COPING SKILLS
RDAP paper #16 2016
Suzanne Westland describes so many helpful tools and strategies in this booklet.
As I reflected on each skill, I recognized where there were situations in my past that would have ended quite differently had I followed the advice of Dr. Westland.
OF the 82 Dry. Westland lists, the five that I most closely related to are:
Ask for help
be honest
choose self-respect
set boundaries
list your options
Here is why.
Learning from past mistakes, I now know the importance of ASKING FOR HELP. This was a huge barrier for me in the past.
There were many times in the beginning of my relapse, where if I’d combined this skill with the attitude of HONESTY, I could have avoided absolute disaster. At the same time, I can also pat myself on the back because coming to RDAP at the beginning of my sentence was ME ASKING FOR HELP.
Choosing self-respect and setting boundaries are also intertwined and in lacking both, I suffered.
When I was in my addiction, I let people walk all over me. It seems like when disaster struck, ( i.e.. when my daddy died, when I went through a difficult divorce etc.. ) I became easy prey for others. People are sometimes very quick to take advantage of people when they are struggling to cope.
Having self-respect and setting boundaries would alleviate this vulnerability.
Never in my life have I known that.
PTSD and substance abuse are related. This is such important news and it makes so many things in my past make better sense.
As you may have heard, I sometimes awfulize. Taking the time to LIST MY OPTIONS is a powerful skill that I am certain will help me So many times in my life, little disasters struck and I was sure it was the end of the world.
This thought was a quick road to relapse because when all is lost, you may as well just get high. ( mantra of a person who sees no options )
Taking the time to list my options will help so much.
I have an extra composition book and I have decided to use this material by Dry. Westland as the basis of a new journal to write more about these 82 skills so that I may refer to them as life happens.
Now it’s 2025 and as I look back at what I wrote, I am amused to recall how dramatic I once was.
I have the most beautiful, honest and strong relationships with an entire safety net of family and friends. I have mentors who are so inspiring. I could write a book about the connections of my life- the folks who celebrate me, even before I got a sentence reduction.
More importantly, I celebrate that I have tirelessly worked to educate the women who have crossed my path, helping them understand coping skills and boundaries and the absolute necessity of securing these traits in our life. My hope being that perhaps, one young lady doing a short sentence, would not find themselves older, with a long sentence, looking back on a life of shambles. I am certain I have met the goal.
