I have been so inspired by author Brene Brown, I love the way she keeps it real. When she talks about the danger of ” leading from hurt vs. leading from the heart ” I get it.
When I first set out to build the Peer Success Mentor Program / Think Tank here, I specifically sought out individuals who “had done the work on themselves”. I worked with a woman here, years ago, who proved that theory. She had passion and ambition but she had not applied the methods of re-structure and self-actualization to her own life.
We can place it in the category from our old lives, on the streets and in business, you aren’t respected if you ask your workers or the people you are leading to do things that you are not or have never done yourself.
Brene goes on to say that we need leadership who are self aware enough to lead from their hearts, rather than unevolved leaders coming from a place of hurt and smallness. She goes on to say they tend to use their position of power to fill the self worth gap.
Power over People.
“Leading from hurt means we are working our shit out on other people NOT addressing the real driver of our pain. Not an occasional slip ; inflicting hurt rather than feeling hurt becomes a habit.”
With this in mind, we can see the power in providing safe space for our leaders to “reboot and regenerate “.
One of the things that has helped me to be a positive and impactful leader is that I consciously live a healthy, well balanced life. I honor and respect the formula that keeps me cool and allows me the space to separate the many problems or challenges we are faced with here from the emotions that are attached from my long, sometimes hurt-filled walk along this big earth.
Brene quotes a guy named Ed- oh please forgive me for not being able to recall his last name- however, she said she loves his personal example. Ed says, “I tend to flood and freeze up if I am feeling overwhelmed. When this happens it’s usually because I feel like the world is crashing down and all is lost. One trick I’ve learned is to force myself to make a list of what’s actually wrong. “
This is the sort of genius stuff they taught me in the beginning of my bid here in the feds in the RESIDENTIAL DRUG ABUSE PROGRAM. It was there that I learned to separate the practical problem from the emotions attached to that problem. The trick is to train yourself to take a deep breath, venture into a hard workout, good yoga and mediation session and in that space, you will be able to identify the roots of the emotions which may be tethered to the problem. A strong leader trains themselves in this habitual formula.
Often times, it’s simply our ego rising to the surface.
When you circle back around to deal with the situation, you have a cool, level head. This one practice could save a life, but it also gains the respect of those you seek to lead.
It is imperative that we sit still with ourselves, spend time in reflection; especially after a time when we have been hurt or suffered a loss; anytime our life has been fractured. Understanding this truth is one of the many responsibilities of a leader.
It’s important to remember that not all are leaders or aspire for leadership. When you follow this formula You will create a safe space for those who are seeking your guidance, direction, motivation and strength. Yes, as a result of your diligent healthy balanced lifestyle, those who look to you as a leader will feel safe and confident in their roles which are the common goals of the group.
Deepak says that if you have not passion in life, you have not lived. Leading from the heart is when, in the ideal situation, you love and have true passion for the quest you are leading everyone to accomplish.
