It seems lately, I feel like a local celebrity. Around here, as you may imagine, we love to hear stories about how someone is leaving, especially if they are leaving early.
Let me keep it real and tell you that since last Friday I have been told so many things by so many women. Some whom are strangers to me, but most I have crossed paths with. After all, I run a pretty large mentor program and I am the only one out on the yard in the gardens, hot or cold; even in the rain, for too many years now.
Time is all we have here.. Time to sharpen your skills, find your voice, add more talent and expertise to your personal bag of cool abilities.
There was a time when I loved to start my workshops or classes by saying this, ” when you come into this prison, you can look around and see it as a place with rules, restrictions, concrete, fences and locked doors; or you can see this place as a a community, a space filled with opportunities to learn and grow.
Our dorms house 128 women. For years I have referred to the units as the. ” the coliseum of Rome”. For most folks this becomes 128 daily distractions. Hours and hours standing around talking about problems and stories of the men and the drugs, each other’s charges, worst of all, what the other women are up to here, the “T”.
Whereas I never shut my door to people who needed help, I was able to stay focused because I limited my time out there in the coliseum.
I have read few works of fiction. Mostly, I have read self- help books. I have a very clear understanding of why people stand around and tell war stories of their past, their arrest, all the tragic stories that landed them here. They are stuck on a stress loop. All they really need is a space where they can tap into their creative self to process the stories of their life and find the strength to walk away from the identities of those stressful times.
In the pursuit of a beautiful, well-balanced life- we create a new identity. We gain a real sense of strength, begin to see our true purpose, begin to love each moment. Most of all, we hopefully begin to recognize that the 128 potential distractions
are actually opportunities- much like the refiner’s fire- we have the chance to smooth one another out, learn how to work well with others. This is a formula for great community building and endless personal achievement.
While doing my yoga today, I got so excited knowing that soon, I will be able to sit with some of my idols. Folks I have never met, but who have worked tirelessly to campaign for my release- the brilliant giants on whose shoulders I have stood for so many years.
I remembered how when….
I first walked through the gates of Hazelton I couldn’t wrap my mind around HOW I WOULD DO 30 YEARS. I asked a lady in my unit how she had done it, having heard that she had done 20 so far.
Then, I started putting one foot in front of the other. The more I started visualizing the rebuilding of me, the more it all started to line up. The key word is earnest. There has to be an earnest, repentive truth inside you.
As I said, I did RDAP at the beginning of my sentence. I met this lady, she was so beautiful and sort of flighty with old school southern charm- I knew she must have been a real looker in her day. Obama had granted her clemency but first she had to finish RDAP. It was like trying to teach an old dog new tricks for sure. She had been at Carswell for 19 years.
I helped her in RDAP, like I would have wanted someone to help me if I were in her position.
She introduced me to Amy Povah.
Amy Povah has been my hero for so many years. She has been like a beacon of light at the end of this tunnel- knowing that she made it through this same ordeal, and emerged to live a life of deep purpose gave me strength. Knowing that she was advocating for me all these years gave me a different strength. More than anything, knowing that she was advocating for me gave my mother hope; for this I will be forever grateful.