The First Step Act (FSA) has, in numerous way, created new and wonderful opportunities for many inmates in federal prison. It has opened doors to programming and apprenticeships that previously didn’t exist. It has allowed people the opportunity for many to earn an early release. It has also created the desire in many to really think about their prison time and what can they get out of it. So many came in and just served their time but did little to prepare themselves for release. The FSA changed that for many by making them think about who and what they wanted to do/be when they left prison. It gave them goals to reach for and ways to obtain those goals.
For most, that is. I am one of the few ineligible for the FSA incentives due to my military conviction.
Another manifestation of the FSA is the “needs” category. After answering several questionnaires, the BOP determines what type of classes you need in order to better yourself and improve your skills so that you will be more successful upon re-entry. Even though the FSA incentives are not applicable to me, I am still eligible for the classes offered by the BOP. Within certain limits. Shortly after I arrived at FCI-Aliceville, I encountered one of those limits. I applied for the Anger Management class but was told I do not have an “anger need”. In BOP-speak and in accordance with their interpretation of the FSA policy, the absence of a “need” on an inmate’s paperwork means they cannot sign up for the class. Since I had taken a Beyond Violence class at my previous institution, my anger need was met and therefore I no longer needed an Anger Management class.
Several times I spoke with the staff facilitating this class and explained that, due to my crime I needed the class; that because of my parole hearing I needed the class; due to my own personal anger issues I needed the class; that the Army Parole and Clemency Board would not consider one class sufficient for recovery so I needed the class. All to no avail.
I turned my sights in other directions. A friend who works at 2nd Call, an organization in California that works with people at every level in the criminal justice system, told me about an Anger Management and Domestic Violence class that I could take through correspondence. It wasn’t the ideal solution but it was a solution. It may not be enough for a full recovery or learning how to deal with my anger in healthier ways, but it was a step in the right direction.
Today I started lesson six and learned how to dispute my thoughts that lead to the initiating anger. And the exercises have given me a place to work through future events so I can have a better grip on my feelings before I ever feel frustrated or angry. Again, it was not the ideal solution but I am glad I decided to participate in this correspondence course so I can be better prepared for the future. It also helped me reaffirm the choice to take this course IN ADDITION TO continuing to seek help with anger once I am granted parole. I learned to deal with many things using anger by watching my father. It quickly became a habit. And it is a hard one to break in prison where we must zealously guard our boundaries to remain safe. But the Trauma in Life class, as well as this Anger Management course, have helped me change many of my grounding techniques so that I am able to deal with frustration without resorting to anger.
I think this represents determination in all it’s iterations. I had to remain determined to find the help I needed and I must renew my determination to complete the coursework. Then, once granted parole, I will have to double down on that determination to find help so I can transition into society and deal with new frustrations in healthy ways.
