One day I left a sugarless hard candy on the window sill of my room and the sun beamed down on it all day while i was at work. when i came back the candy was all jellified and gooey. this gave me an idea. so i took three of them out of the wrappers and put them in a plastic baggy. i set them in 190 degree water for about 20 minutes. they got all gooey at which time i twisted them in the bag into a spherical shape and pushed a q-tip stick, that i had cut cotton off of before hand, and dumped the whole works into a separate cup of ice water. this re-hardened the candy and i had a perfectly spherical multi colored and multi flavored lollipop. this became my next hustle as every one else used medicine cups to melt their candy down in the microwave making them flat. i sold it for 3 stamps which is about 105 cents at the time.
the bags of candy on store only cost 35 cents which was how much the compound stamps cost on the yard and i could make 3 to 4 from each bag. then i hooked up with a guy who sold taffy and we combined the two and made taffy/hard candy lollipops with cool aid sprinkled on the outside. we sold about 300 lollipops in three days which was our supply until the next commissary day. then we split the cost 50/50 because he supplied the material but i knew the manufacturing process. we did this for about a year. i ate good that year. unfortunately i picked up a drug habit and thats when imy life started to go down hill.
for a long time i smoked marijuana both on the streets and after i got locked up. drugs are not that hard to find in prison, in fact they are everywhere. nothing the administration can do will ever stop us humans from getting our fix because of our ingenuity of finding new ways to get them inside these walls. as well as good ol fashioned ways like the very same cops bringing the stuff in to us to make an extra dollar along with their fed check. but needless to say i got hooked really bad and started spending all my candy money on drugs.
i stopped caring about my health both physically and mentally. and then a turning point in my life is when i overdosed. i smoked something that caused an allergic reaction to my throat which caused it to swell up and prevent me from breathing for about 15 minutes. i passed out and left my body. so this is my near death experience.
MY NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE+
By Aaron Wewa
i went unconscious. i knew something was wrong immediately after i took the hit. my throat instantly dried up and i couldn’t draw a breath. my vision slowly faded and i felt myself slump over. the guy i was getting high with was too high himself to do anything to help and was the cowardly type anyways who would have probably ran off and hid if he could, he had done it before with other guys who over dosed.
i thought i opened my eyes but i realized i was rising from my body into the air and could see the whole unit as it was open dorm. i floated to the ceiling and then through the ceiling into the unit above and then into that ceiling until i came out on top of the roof. i remember feeling absolutely calm and at peace. i could see in all directions at once because i was a tiny speck of light. i rose higher and higher into the sky through the clouds and into space until i could see the earth. and the earth istelf became a tiny spot as i flew into the darkness of space.
i remember feeling exhilirated and excited at the prospect of this but scared too because well i knew my body was dead back on earth. then i saw a cloud in the far distance and when i got closer realized this cloud was made up on an infinite amount of tiny specks of light like myself. my travel through space was really fast and i soon entered the cloud of lights. wheni did so all the knowledge of the lives of every living things that ever existed in the universe flowed through my consciousness. i realized that these were all the lives that i had already lived before and was remembering the experience of each one as i was reconnected with each one in the cloud. not only that but the answer to every question ever asked shot through me and i knew all as i was all. then a memory of warmth and love came upon me and i knew it was the soul of my mother who passed on years before approached. without words i was let know that it was not my time to die and that i had more to experience in this current life that i am bound to. it was like a cold bucket of water was dumped on me as i was pulled from the cloud of lights and flew even faster through space back into my body.
my soul slammed back into my body and flew through out it like a buzzing bee in bottle until it finally latched on to my brain. i had to reteach myself how to move my fingers, toes, legs and arms. but i do remember first having to force body to start breathing again. it was i like i sped through the whole process of learning how everything worked super fast from infant status to grown up and it kind of hurt. when i fully regained control of myself and was abel to sit up on my bed i closed my eyes and slowly felt all that knowledge leak out of me and back into the great beyond.
i felt really disappointed having to come back to earth to live out this life but it has given me a thought that goes through my mind each day. what is it that i have to experience before my time is up? i dont know yet what this life has in store for me but i am now in a stage of my life where i am ready to accept responsibilty for everything that i do and say and even think. i want more from this life than just feeling high. i want more than just getting by with the skin of my teeth. i want to excel and prosper and achieve great things because maybe thats what i am meant to do. ive been at the bottom and felt sorry for myself and it has led me nowhere. i want to help people escape their misery even if its for a moment because i now believe this life isnt meant to in misery but joy and happiness. i came back a different person changed for life even though it took me several more years of addiction before giving in to the fact that drugs were only holding me back from my full potential at being human. i knew that i was more intelligent than many other inmates but i got lost in the guise that i had placed myself under to hide from who i really was. because i didn’t want to be who i really was. i didn’t want to be the person who did my crime and i figured if i pretended to be the ruthless one, the addicted one, the uncaring one, the scandless one, the uneducated one, then i could escape being who i really am. but now i know there is no escape from who i am. i am who i am and there is no point in denying it because doing so only ever brought pain and confusion and misery. so in my acceptance i gained freedom. i can now live as i was meant to be. a loving caring person who gives a fuck about the next person. i know not everyone deserves second chances but i choose to help those who i can tell are trying to be themselves without being controlled by others views of who they should be or act or even think. i meet people and sometimes its like i already know them. and this Michael Santos guy some how speaks to me. its like if we lived before in another time he was a messenger to me that could guide me to righteousness. so i feel like now if i follow his lead he can lead me in this life to righteousness. i think i am on the right path and will continue to listen to his words of encouragement.
