I am an ARTIST = CREATIVITY HEALS. I have tirelessly sought creative solutions in the rebuild of my life.
Having recently received a dramatic reduction of my prison sentence ( 30 years to 15 years ) I am now under greater obligation to send a positive ripple out into the universe. But if I am being honest, I was doing that anyway.
I am prepared to re-enter the workplace in a confident manner.
I began to prepare for the next phase of my life from the very first day of my incarceration.
As a proponent of a Healthy Balanced Lifestyle, I can best detail my journey to preparedness from the spokes of the wellness wheel. It all flowed so naturally, the truth is my heart was in it all the way, and everything lined up from there. There is honor in genuine effort.
In the process of landing myself in prison for 30 years, I lost my balance. Having hit rock bottom and when faced with some very harsh consequences, I SOUGHT OUT OPPOTUNITIES for the rebuild of my life.
I thought of all the spaces I had stepped down to renovate in my life before prison. I recognized my life in a parallel state. When dealing with a home renovation, you have to clean out the space, remember that preparation is key, planning should be careful and it’s always best to find sustainable routes and materials.
I was hyper- aware that the wiring of my brain, my neuropathways, were like the electrical panel of a house built in the last century. Rutted, riddled with PTSD, I had been on a stress loop for many years. What I know now is that my emotional spoke was in shambles.
I read books like, BURNOUT, FEELINGS BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE, WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH, HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE, THE POWER OF NOW and anything written by Brene Brown.
Oh, and yes, 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE.
I cleared out the toxic, outdated baggage and clutter that no longer served me in the beginning of my sentence in the INSIDE /OUT PROGRAM. I remember the day I found a bulletin on the board that said there was a new class starting up; I rushed to meet the deadline.
The Inside/ Out Program was a victim impact program where 16 college students sat woven into a circle of 16 prisoners;
together we studied sociology, victimology and criminology.
Dr. Jerry Kirby and Dr. Amanda Sanchez taught me everything about domestic violence, creating curriculum, hosting workshops and so much about what it means to work stuff out. I completed the program and went on to be the teacher’s aid for the following 3 semesters.
* In an effort to reach out to volunteer in my new community, I have written to several domestic violence shelters, sending them a letter of introduction and a little bit about myself and my journey- offering my service in the future.
We then formed the first female think tank, VOICES UNITED. Eight years later, I was finally able to form a think tank here at Aliceville while beginning a mentorship program directed by the think thank.
* Upon release, I will publish this work, the entire pathway and curriculum that I used to bring about the programs. The material is organized and ready for publication.
The administrator, Mr.. Mori ( sp?) had me working for him, one day I took the students on a tour of the facility with him and we went into RDAP and when I saw how relaxed and structured the atmosphere was, I asked if there were anyway I could move there. The professors had me writing some papers for judges who were experimenting with drug court and I needed a bit of peace.
The following week, I moved into the RDAP community at the beginning of my 30 year sentence. Anyone who has done time in the feds knows what an unusual situation this was. For 6-8 months, I lived in the community, following all the rules, until one day, a spot came open in the program.
In RDAP I was able to paint murals, and I began teaching other women how to paint murals.
Soon, I was painting murals for the culinary arts dept.. and the offices of various counselors. One day I was asked to do the staff lounge. The mural that I painted there was representing the military of America. I painted the mountains of Afghanistan, the beaches of Normandy, even the SS Morrison, the ship that won my grandfather a bronze star.
RDAP became the foundation of my rebuild; the 8 Positive Attitudes have carried me to success each step of the way:
-honesty -willingness – gratitude -responsibility -humility -open-mindedness -objectivity -caring
As an artist, one of my life’s missions has been to help other women to find their voice and heal through creativity.
When I needed this, it lined up for me. By teaching other women to paint, I was responsible, paying it forward.
* Upon release, I will have a large studio where I will paint and create many unexpected objects of art.
Around that same time, I was invited to the Appalachian Prison Book Project weekly meetings which was a book club/writing club. Little did I know, they were preparing me for a time when I would have no paint and I would need to depend on words to sort out my life.
One of my greatest concerns when arriving at Hazelton was that I would become brain dead with no mental stimulation.
But in all of this, I was inspired beyond my wildest imagination.
Over the years, I have remained in contact with the APBP, contributing many written pieces for various projects.
* I have an entire collection of poetry which I will publish upon release.
By the end of my second year of incarceration, I was a mentor in the RDAP community, they called it a Peace Corps. – we handled the conflict resolution for the community and trained the new comers.
When I transferred to Aliceville, in an effort to, ” sharpen the saw “, I taught classes. Poetry, Creative Writing, Health and Wellness, Decision Making, Conflict Resolution, the list goes on.
In the effort of smoothing out my wellness wheel to achieve balance, I was now rolling along with a healthy emotional spoke, my family connections were smoothed out and I could feel my intellect sharpening.
Next, I needed to get my physical self in check.
One thing that women need to understand when coming to prison ( or when suffering any great loss ) is that our body reacts to the hormonal stress by packing on belly weight , often this is paired with depression.
My significant other and oldest friend, came to see me at Hazelton, found me there with my physical wheel shot.
In receiving 30 years, I had gained 30 lbs…
The following week, a little meme came in the mail, featuring an overweight man sitting in a super hero costume, the neon light outside showed a sign that read, “FALLEN SUPERHEROS”. On the back of the photo there was a sentence I will always treasure, ” don’t let it happen to you”.
I had always been fit; active in dancing, rollerblading, cross fit, swimming, P90x, Insanity, shoot, I did Jane Fonda cassette tape workouts in front of a large mirror with leg warmers on in the 80’s ! I just needed motivation and oh, how that meme motivated me!
(Thank you Breck !)
I have found that the best way to kick off the renovation is in studying the subject. I read so many fitness books over the years, I followed them page by page and learned so much.
THINNER LEANER STRONGER, HIIT, CORE ANATOMY, PILATES ANATOMY, 21oo ASANA, were my favorites. Naturally, if you are following the pattern, you can predict that I then went on to teach workout and wellness classes here.
The workout groups led to years here of me not only leading daily workout classes even during the pandemic, to a situation where I am a real live life coach.
* I have written 2 workout books that will be published upon my release.
As an artist and designer, having reimagined so many spaces, I had a template.
One day, I found opportunity to enter an Electrical Vocational Course, I thought of all those very old houses that always needed wiring and how I like to be able to do everything myself if ever I needed to, I signed up.
I began to keep a journal of sketches; various things I would make that I would wire up- light fixtures, room dividers, columns and lamps.
During this time, the 2 years of Vocational Training, I decided to pair my studies with a College Correspondence Course that was in line with my goals, and so I was that I completed a 2 year CONSTRUCTION MANAGEMENT / CONTRACTING Program.
To be honest, I thought I would breeze through but that was not the case.
*I now have an NCCER card that I can present to a future employer that shows the 600 hours of various trade skills that I bring to the table; Core Safety, Intro to Trade Skills, Electrical etc..
Suffice to say, there is a chapter in my book, IN THE ABSENCE OF PAINT that is titled, “What You Bring To The Table “
at first it was simply the JOB spoke of the wheel, but in this crazy moment, I think it’s important to find value in the fact that everyone brings a different skillset or makes a different contribution to their tribe.
I know what I bring to the table, and it’s all beneficial to those around me.
Around 2019, I began doing an audio podcast. As a result, many reporters have reached out to me over the years, when researching anything from FRP Payments to FSA Credits. When I was approached by Mother Jones Magazine to share my experience with life before the METOOMOVEMENT, I bared all.
I have now been doing a podcast for a few years, never focusing on what is wrong here in a critical way, but focusing on my experiences and the possibilities of better health. I have been talking about my books, art and the program for which I am most proud to have begun- THE PEER SUCCESS PROGRAM. And whereas I had created, hosted, facilitated workshops, classes, seminars etc. to bring awareness to the power of the 24 hours we each have and to emphasis the value of living a healthy, well- balanced life, the PSP came as the pinnacle of it all- a prison wide mentor program that I worked tirelessly to put together. Those who I brought in to work with me helped me to form a think tank, THE COLLECTIVE. I served as the Director for the first year, and then I RECEIVED CLEMENCY, and turned it over to the capable hands of THE COLLECTIVE.
In finding my breath and my balance, I went on to help others breath and find their balance and although this are many other things to highlight from the past 11 years, my most exciting accomplishments came in the final year.
My specialty is in finding creative solutions to bring positive change.
For 8 Years, I have worked as the landscape orderly for the Captain. The gardens here are lush and healthy and will live on well after I am gone but I knew I needed to train some people really well before I went which led to….
My personal favorite was THE TRANSLATABLE SKILLS WORKSHOPS. This is where I was able to take the task of lining a large garden space- stripping all the plants out to add a new liner and adding a daily written workshop based on Emotional Intelligence, teamwork and garden design, basically hard and soft translatable skills and ending each day with a good yoga session. The concept being that the participants now have something valuable to add to a resume.
What have you done in the past 11 years that you are most excited about? My dear aunt shared this wisdom that I follow,
Life is to inspire and to be inspired.
Next, I shall share with you my goals upon release.
