Forgive me Father for I have sinned (just kidding)…. although it feels like I have because it has been way too long since I have written in my journal. Prison is certainly full of challenges and a lot of those are out of my control. Sometimes, I really question the people that run these places and where their logic comes from. However, I have too many things that I am working towards to dwell on that. By the way, that is not an excuse for not writing in my journal, laugh a little.
With that being said everything Michael Santos talks about in his books and his emails, how a person can change is true, it is absolutely true! How can I say that because I live and do it everyday! Everyday I have the choice to make things happen. So often I hear people say, “That I’m bored.” I think to myself that boredom is a choice. I am never bored because I choose to do things that are productive to bettering my life and myself-that includes reading, studying, writing, maybe watching a movie or just taking time to reflect. of course, there are so many other things to do as well. Everyday I study and work on my college assignments (I attend a State University and a Junior College), I work at a really good prison job (actually they consider it like a real job) as well I take every FSA class that I can take, and now I am volunteering for suicide watch. On top of that, I find time to stay physically fit which is as important as being mentally and emotionally strong. All of those strengths are intertwined. By the way, let me mention that FSA classes are a way for people in here to earn extra time off their sentences. Why wouldn’t I take these, why wouldn’t anyone take these classes. The fact of the matter is that not everyone does, some people just like to be a part of the prison lifestyle by lounging around playing cards or just talking about the streets and the life they lived. This is not an option for me and is not a part of the big plan to change for the future, to do productive things and to make sure I never come back here again. As with most things that are good it takes discipline and hard work to get ahead in life. This experience in here is no different.
I don’t mention all the things I do to brag or think that I am better than anyone else here. Everybody here is my equal, our goals are just different. I do say these thing, my accomplishments because I want to hopefully influence other’s that many things can be done to change a person’s outcome from this place. Very simply I’m just fighting to get back to an equal place of normality, a place where the rest of the “normal” people are in life, normal functioning productive people. When I get out that is when I hope to achieve better and greater thing’s in my life! Happy Holiday’s to all!