Trust matters in our daily lives. I always tell my friends and family that trust if a very fragile thing, it is like that broken vase that may seem useless, but with a little love and care, it can be glued back together. True, it may not be the original thing, but still very useful for many purposes.
In prison, we have to deal with trust issues on an hourly basis, whether it is from peers, staff or anyone else. With so much going on in a severely penological setting, it is challenging to build trust again. Whether it is within yourself or from those around you.
In prison, the AIC is always under suspicion, we can try to be spiritual and holistic about it, the bottom line is that there may be low level of trust towards one another, but mostly our existence is defined by mistrust.
When a cell door is closed and the window covering is up, 9 out of 10 times, the prison staff will suspect the AIC doing something wrong, such as using drugs, handling contraband or having a romantic encounter. When an AIC is at the job, he or she will always be under scrutiny from staff. The AIC will not be left out of sight, no matter how long you have worked there or no matter how clean your record may be.
I know that a lot of AICs still continue with their unhealthy habits, thus often ruining it for the AICs who are truly working very hard to rehabilitate and make their way out to society.
A felony background will always be challenging, but not something that one cannot overcome.
Stop putting that label on you and if others do, challenge them and prove that you do not need criminal acts in your life. Follow your own rehabilitated course, what is happening to you right now, shall pass.
Keep your eyes focused on the future, on the steps forward. Yesterday is dead and gone and cannot be changed, so why focus on that?
Have a great and blessed day,
Sherida Nabi
