By sheer coincidence, part of my sentencing transcripts were sent to me and I had to brace myself to re-read all. I went to trial and was heavily taxed for that, in comparison to my co-defendant who cooperated with the Government and was greatly rewarded for his (false) testimony.
The human mind works in wondrous ways and we have this aptitude to block out things that cause ussuffering. Part of the transcript dealt with continuous lockdown during COVID and much of the tragedy I had to go through. For example, I went out on a medical trip and as this was during COVID, I had to be quarantined after that medical trip. Quarantine took place in the SHU, which is really and truly a punishment division within the Federal Prison system, also referred to as the “Hole”. I had bravely buried these memories, but when I read the transcripts, all the while praying and doing my breathing exercises, I felt like being performed surgery on without anesthesia!
It is now Friday morning, I started reading last night, I am still reading and all the raw data stored in my memory came back so vividly that I could not stop feeling the chills.
I am a very optimistic person, with infallible faith in ALLAH (God), all I can do especially on these moments, is pray to Him, for in all honesty I do not know how in 2025, the US still has this Justice and Incarceration system.
The other day, I was reading a book by Corrie ten Boom, who just so happens to be from my home country, The Netherlands. Corrie ten Boom was a young woman, who with her family helped Jewish fellow countrymen to hide from the hands of the Nazis. They were unfortunately reported to the Nazi authorities and were imprisoned. Her father died 9 days after incarceration, her sister did as well. But, the rest of her family miraculously survived the imprisonment. She writes very descriptive and vividly about the living, working conditions and in all honesty, we can see a perfect analogy between these imperfect situations. She described the inspections, the dorms, the food, the treatment, the many punitive measures, all analogous to the situation in the US prisons in 2025!
However, the most beautiful central theme was always her unfailing optimism and comparison to situations which could have been worse.