I am sharing some sadness today, realizing how badly my actions affected my family and kids is the hardest part of all of this. I messed up my life and career by breaking the law, but it’s the ripple effects of my actions that are the most painful. I miss my kids so much. Collectively they barely speak to me and I haven’t seen them all together for over a year. I own my mistakes and apologized repeatedly. But now all I can do is love them, wait with patience, and pray. Someday they will realize I’m not bad, I just did some bad things, and I still love them. None of this is to seek empathy or sympathy, but to explain my feelings and acceptance of responsibility and the repercussions of my actions. I own my mistakes and failures, because I know that is the first step towards redemption and reconciliation. I am a felon, but that will not define the rest of my life! As much as I believe that and try to make that my future, the sadness and shame are always there, the devil is always ready to pounce and overtake me. I need to fight and pray everyday in order to stay positive and keep doing the good work to move forward. I can still feel sadness and shame, but I will not let depression and toxic shame overtake me!
