It’s about 1 hour earlier than I usually wake up. Last night after one month here at USP Thomson “LOW” I found earning freedom in the library. Took it back to my rack and cracked it open. I went through Mr. Santos’s video presentation while in Countie but reading a book and hearing it resonates differently with me. Although I didn’t grow up in a business house hold I did grow up in a hard work household. (My dad is a retired laborer who spent most of his career tending cinder blocks and pouring concrete.) I was able to relate to most of Mike’s first chapter of the book. From what I understand Mike was addicted to fast money, women, and material things. The only difference is I put drugs first.
I’ve had 2 incarcerations before this one but the way Mike describes the fall has always been the same for me. I know it’s close but I’m already far committed to addiction and the lifestyle to do anything about it. I get no relief until the cuffs are on, and immediately the race\fantacy is over and reality sicks in. Having gone through the cycle a few times I’m better equipped with tools to process my thoughts feelings and actions that lead me here again. In 2017 I had my brothers’ house raided and blasted on the local news. My daughter at the age of 5 went to live with Grandma and Grandpa and I entered DOC in Minnesota for 75 months. I started immediately working to build my release plan. 1. Stayed in contact with members of the recovery community 2. Establish entry into a sober living situation 3. Have a job lined up 4. List of recovery meetings in area 5. Create a weekly schedule 6. Exit the DOC as soon as possible.
Through hard work, I was released 30 months later on Intensive supervised release for 1 year. I was not prepared for Covid 19 And very shortly after the pandemic, I found myself slowly snowballing into addiction. Within that time I met a girl who was sober and she relocated to where I was living. Having had still good ties with famliy after ISR I moved back in at my brother’s house. Hiding the addiction was easy the pandemic kept people indoors. I somehow completed my apprenticeship and became a journeyman in the carpenters union. Became distant at home from Sarah and Laila while I was running the streets. Knowing that the tape was skipping through the cycle that’s so familiar to me. I found myself stuck in the headlights. To be contiued
Throughout the first chapter of earning freedom, I realized I wanna publish a book the title is “Living Through Addiction”
