Journal for Ryan Curving 34832-510
5/8-5-13 Very chaotic to me since I didn’t know what to expect or even envisioned. But overall, it is prison, so it is what it is. Trying to navigate not knowing what the deal is, is difficult. But, meeting new individuals is not as hard as I thought.
On Friday, it was my son’s 14 th birthday which made it somewhat emotional but spoke to my family several times and seemed to ease the emotional sadness from not being there. Also, attended my first bible study at the compound, and wow Brother J was fantastic. A LOT of believers in YAZOO City which erased more of my stress. I asked to assist Brother J in the religion department so Lord sees what happens.
Here is a funny story from my day on Friday. Leaving the chapter, I followed the heard going back to their units. I repeat, I followed the herd going back to THEIR units. I walked in and said “wow, its darker now, they moved the game tables and no one looks familiar.” At this moment, I knew I messed up badly. I tried to get out as fast as possible to make it before the move was over. I walked out to the guard and said “Hey, I messed up and went to the wrong unit.” (Qualifies as a disciplinary infraction.) But I calmly explained how I just arrived and went to the chapter and followed the group without paying attention. His response was, “well, you stuck here now, go inside until next move,” So I did that. The officer had someone bring me a chair and I sat in the unit not knowing anyone until next move, which was an hour away. All I heard was, “Tik Tok, Tik Tok” in my head. Announcement was made and it was time to move.
As I leave, I thanked him (the officer) and he responded, “You will probably be asked where you are coming from on the compound.” So nervous again, I walked 300 yards back to my unit. I walked in without being stopped by any officer. Wow, I thought. Few steps in the door and “Red” meets me. “They were calling you, they were calling you, where did you go?” I was instantly nervous and asked “how did you know,” thinking a officer asked or told him. He told me that another individual saw me and told him. All in the clear, except to my pride. *Note Stay aware of where you’re going, sounds silly, I know because I would be saying the same thing. I thought I was already humble, but each moment I become more and more humble. By the way, the week is not over yet so I am sure more stories and mishaps will occur so stay tuned.
Saturday: Today I started my work out routine, 2 miles walking on the track and 5 miles on bicycle. Do 100 pushups and 3 sets of dips. Getting used to my new workout routine. Stay tuned!
Made it to Monday, been into a routine of reading and taking frequent trips to the library. Little different to what I’m used to (little humor) but, it is what it is. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude because you can spiral very easily into nonproductive thoughts and patterns. Not sure where I heard the saying, “Adapt-Overcome-Achieve Success.” My goal is to not let their situations or journey define me. An investigator in my case spoke to me as we left court and said, “Don’t let this define you.” Their statement will resonate with me forever.
5/15 Commissary day, been looking forward to this day since I had my first move (move is when you can go to different places, classroom, workout or yard.) I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself with the amount of food or the number of times I missed a meal. So, what do I get? The list is the size of a legal sheet of paper packed with items. I have a $90 spending limit which sounds like a lot but, it adds up quickly, especially the first time with nothing in your locker. Stay Tuned for an update!!! Update: No commissary today.
Wednesday: Finally went to commissary and purchased my goods. It was a happy but humbling moment. Happy I have food to eat if I get hungry but humbling was the situation. Only way I could describe this experience is as followed: picture a chicken coop with 10 chickens, you go in to feed the chickens. They know it is time to eat and they surround you. And when the feed is put down, the chickens go frantic, pecking away. Now you have visual in your head, now I will put it into words. You walk into a room packed with people, like you’re at a DMV on the first of the month with only one line open. They start to call individuals over the loud speaker but, it sounds like the teller from the cartoon, Charlie Brown. All you hear is “Wah, Wah, Wah” and part of your last name. I jumped up with my bag ready. I walked in to the little room. The officer is hurrying me to verify my thumb print. I try to put my bag on the hooks. He motions, “Let’s go, put your thumb on the scanner to start.” So, I get my bag hooked on and feeling
confident, until my thumb print doesn’t work. The officer is getting frustrate, I’m getting nervous. I tell him that it is my first time, the frustration goes away, my nervousness is starting to go away. But, not as fast as I wished. I finish the progress of the fingerprint setup. Now, here comes my stuff down a shoot at mach one speed. Things are basically thrown down the shoot and you have to be like Derrick Jeter (hall of fame baseball player) catching all their items making sure they go into your bag. You don’t know what you receive and what you didn’t but you grab your received and move on. When I got back to my dorm and looked at everything I received. I was not given some of the items I had attempted to purchase. Oh well, but at least I have some essentials to make my life easier. All items were put up, sold some of the items for stamps (dorm currency.)
Now back to my daily reading, and bible study. Lunch is in a little and supposed to have hamburger, so looking forward to that. Stay tuned. Adapt-Overcome-Achieve success.
5/16 I tried to take up some of my time reading. Started a new book, “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. So far, it’s enjoyable and looking forward to finish the book, seeing what it has instore for me. During the afternoon move to the recreation yard, there was some commotion involving
an altercation but was an isolated issue. Once over, I completed my workout of walking about 5 miles.
5/17 Received all of my mail I sent out, other than that, going to bible study (which was phenomenal.) Not major or minor to speak about. Just one more day closer to my freedom and children. Adapt-overcome-Achieve success.
5/18 Received news my son is going to receive his surgery on June 4 th , can’t wait to hear him feeling better and stronger.
5/19 It’s Sunday and hot and humid in Vazoo City, Mississippi. Spent most of my day outside walking around the track, no workout for me. However, I started a new adventure today, learning guitar. It is so much more difficult than I thought it would be. But I enjoyed it very much and can’t wait to advance my learning. I am also putting in to see if I can help with tutoring individuals here to pass their GED and other courses. I pray it goes through so I can do something useful and help others in the process. Stay tuned for more updates. Adapt-overcome- Achieve success.
5/22 Right now I’m on a cycle of sleep, breakfast, read books, lunch and rec/dinner. It is a cycle I’m forcing myself out of. I’m more interested in more productive ways to make fill my day. In the morning, we were shut down as a result of behavior tolerated in the rec field. So, one outside rec time was canceled for three weeks. However, the inside rec area is still open so I can get some workout time in. I’m adjusting to this situation I’m in. Trying to make the best out of a horrible situation.
5/23 Well, today started off as a normal day. Same routine as mentioned prior, until dinner time. An Individual decided life was too demanding and decided to jump off the top railing backwards. The staff rushed to his aid but not sure what the outcome was. Hopefully as is well and he gets the assistance he needs.
5/24 A normal wake up and I read a lot this morning. When I went to work out, it destroyed my legs. It humbled me to recognize more attention is needed on my legs to strengthen them. Slept great, but struggled to get out of bed because my legs were sore. A good sore.
5/26 It was a very unproductive day. It’s Memorial Day. All past Memorial Days were starting to creep back into my mind, bringing tears to my eyes. But, it’s no one else’s fault except the one holding their pen. However, did go to church last night and the female pastor went over exactly what I needed to hear. “Your past has died, don’t look back on it, just raise the bar.” I was pretty much in the dumps before this but, I was reminded I was reminded myself that I’m a child of God. I’m very thankful for that. In a better headspace now from hearing this. Stay tuned- Adapt- overcome- achieve success. And today’s quote: Raise the bar on your self image!!! Praise God.
5/27 Trying to work out early today. My legs still ache from Friday, but no quitting here. Well, I did make it to work out. Shoulders using slam balls. We got a good burn on Memorial Day. Nothing major happen today.
5/28 Stayed out most of the day in rec but when I was out a sweep was done on the unit and one cellphone was found.
