Journal Entry: Robert Jesenik-12/20/2024-Journal #51

Journal Entry

Saturday, December 14th

Woke up to first dark rainy morning in a long time, and no College Gameday and no visitors. My girlfriend/partner was supposed to come but her son/daughter in law are about to have a baby, so she didn’t want to risk getting sick here or being away, which I totally get. So just typed on/off from 6:30-9:30 lockdown. Watched a little Army/Navy game 1-2, then finally able to go outside 2-3 for some exercise. Rain stopped but not the cold wind.Luckily forecast is back to 70 this week:)

After our 3:30-5 lockdown was able to watch the Heisman Show. I always enjoy the stories of each athlete and their family, its truly quality sport programming. One theme that came through for all 4 finalists was their deep belief that someday they would win the Heisman, and they worked their tails off to accomplish. Until all this SEC/DOJ/BOP stuff, that used to be my mentality as well. Set a goal and go after it. After going through this meatgrinder, hearing how I’m too optimistic/not realistic sometimes, plus having 11 years potentially left of a sentence, its hard to have deep beliefs being optimistic about anything, nor want to work hard as well to accomplish it.

That has been especially true for me as it relates to my appeal. In hindsight, I have worked very hard toward completing the prep, understanding the case law, and so forth. And I have a peace now that its filed like never before during this process. But I am torn between being realistic on the low probability in the verdict being overturned, and visioning and praying for its success. For without that it definitely won’t be successful. I think the Heisman testimony really motivated me to be positive on its potential success, and pray and continue to work toward that result!

Sunday, December 15th

Looks like a clear morning, so heading to the library/education from 7-12:30 today. Something about sitting at a table by myself,spreading things for various projects out, and then working on them. Impossible to do in my cell or Unit.

First priority is prep for my January Team meeting with my case manager. Rather than just showing up, like the rest of the guys, I’m putting together an agenda with attachments together for him. Attachments will include all my book reports(show productive activity) plus an updated release plan from 12 months ago. I can already see his face when I give it to him:) One more thing to file is probably what he will think!

At 8 Jeffrey came as we had agreed to meet up and discuss his comedy business plan for when he gets out in 1-2 years. At 41, he has matured, even with all his history on the outside with multiple girl friend mama’s and kids. I had asked him to write down “what” he wants his business to be, so we used that as a starting point. We discussed and clarified what he meant,and then I challenged him on the “How” as a next phase. After an hour, he left with plenty to do and we agreed to meet up again next Sunday, at 8 am as well. I’m sure we’ll also chat outside in the weight area this week, But I love mentoring people who listen and want to try and do well.

Rest of the morning on Christmas cards and letters for all the kids. Nothing is easy, now got to type at the Unit, then print back at the library(broken for now:)).Skipped church as I saw the head chaplain was going to lead the service. Not only does he not know how to give a sermon, no one can understand him with his accent. So typed till 2, then went outside till 3. Today was 100% opposite from yesterday, warm, no wind or rain and sunny!

After chow, watched Sunday Night Football(Seattle/Green Bay), terrible game, should have gone to movies. Oh well, just read my good book rest of evening.

Monday, December 16th

Beautiful morning, but we still got locked down at 7:30. Apparently a lot of folks were leaving/getting transferred today. So they do an extra count and make sure no one extra left:) Fog or not, seems always a reason to lockdown. Hate to see what Medium security is like!

So took advantage to finish my Christmas cards and journal etc. At 10 we finally got out, but only for chow, which thankfully I didn’t go:) Left overs from the night before(turkey mush) plus non edible french fries according to those who went. 11-2 lockdown again, and power was out. No TV, lights etc, something to do with the construction project.

Finally able to go out from 2:15-3 which was a surprise and a godsend! Then normal lockdown 3:30-5. Went to chow,but for some reason they gave us tomorrows scheduled dinner of brats and 2 lousy sides, so I gave my tray to one of the guys and went back to my Unit. Finished evening at the library, copying letters for the kids and finalizing envelopes. Dropped in the mail and all done with my cards!

Tuesday, December 18th

Another beautiful day, and the trains all ran on time for once. After reading, writing, typing all morning, went outside after chow, 12-2 and had a great workout. As I type these journals, I notice how often I write that the weather is beautiful! Must be from last January and when I first got here and how cold and windy it was for a few months. I kind of like it this way:)

Came back in to a beautiful Christmas card and letter from my girlfriend/partner , made my day! Skipped dinner again and went back out 5-6:15 doing my weights, a beautiful warm evening for mid December. And tomorrow is forecast to be 80!

Now that I got all my Christmas cards mailed, most with letters, I feel a sense of relief. Things that are time sensitive create stress for me, because so many things can and do go wrong you can miss the deadline. Library closed unexpectedly(all the time), copier broken, label printer for mailing labels broken(can’t handwrite addresses), lockdowns, its always something. Now everything else I need to do isn’t really time sensitive, so I feel like entering a new phase as we enter 2025.

Mid morning had a good call with my attorney for a letter she is preparing to help push BOP to get my medical treatment. Getting my doctor’s letter into their hands once and for all would be perfect. After they can’t seem to mail out records request forms..

Wednesday I’m going to focus on getting things done for my early January case manager meeting.

Wednesday, December 18th

Looks like another perfect 80 degree day. Lots of typing this morning. Was going to update my release plan, but just wasn’t feeling it. So I’ll save for next Sunday for quiet in the library. But I did figure out my agenda and topics for my Team meeting.

Unfortunately I have a psychology/AA session 1-2 today, right in the middle of a perfect weather afternoon. Oh well. Its interesting to go and listen to 20+ guys. We don’t really follow AA with sponsors and steps, its more about sharing. It strikes me as how similar the AA 12 steps are to Christianity, seems almost disguised. Made me think how to incorporate them into our ABT book and 6 month life change residential program we will have someday.

In the evening saw a Tyler Perry film, “My Daughters”. A nice diversion for the evening and a good story to boot!

Thursday December, 19th

Another beautiful day, morning the same typing and library 9-10. Afternoon was outside 1-2 and 5-6:30, great cardio and weights. Ran into Jeffrey outside, he’s working on his “How” part of the business plan, apparently struggling a bit. We confirmed our Sunday 8 am to discuss.

Saw Jorge, the dad with the ill daughter who wants help on a compassionate release so he can return to helping her. Its been a month and he still hasn’t received the doctor’s letters we need to prepare the request. Like so many, I’m beginning to wonder about his focus, as I always see him either on the phone or chatting with a group of guys who don’t do much either. I gave him Prison Professors contact info to sign up. I’ll be checking to see if he followed through, though I’m afraid I already know the answer. He’s a really nice guy so sure hope things work out for him.

At lunch today, I stopped and asked the head lady over all the Units about regular mail, asking if she knew we hadn’t been getting our newspapers for a week now.(I’m getting pretty good at this now:)) I’m up to 12 papers behind. Credit to her, all newspapers came 3 hours later as part of our daily delivery. To me its not the BOP intentionally screwing things up, its more about no monitoring ability of subordinates and no reporting by them. No supervisor monitors their employees, its incredible to me. I did hear recently some of the East Coast locations have guards with bodycams now, I really think its a big MUST to have any oversight and accountability around here.

After 5-6:30 workout, watched Thursday Night football, Denver v. LA Chargers. First time to see 2 recent Oregon quarterbacks play each other- Herbert and Nix. Great close game and they both played well. Fun to see, can only imagine the entire Duck football team watching the game back in Eugene. Can’t make this up, at halftime some idiot inmate passed out from using contraband in the showers, which caused a medical lockdown for 90 minutes, so had to watch the game through my 5″X7″ door window. Guess better than nothing:)

Friday, December 20

Today is my “Saturday” , with the first game of the 4 College Football playoffs, Indiana v. Notre Dame. So I did my typical typing till 9, then took a walk from 9-10 outside. Kind of recovering from yesterday:) I always skip Friday lunch as the fish sandwich has just gotten so bad, used to be good. I know they bought low quality, but this new version is a record low!

Went back outside 12-2 on a comfortable 70 degree afternoon, got my cardio in, no weights today. Rest of day was lockdown football with typing in-between. Turned out to be a lousy game, so read from 8-10. But should be better football day tomorrow with 3 playoff games plus NFL as well!

Praying for Freedom and Liberty and to see my Family and friends soon! BJ