Saturday, April 19th
Yesterday was Good Friday,and today is also part of Holy weekend. Definitely makes me stop and think about Jesus’s sacrifice for all of us, the pain and suffering he went through on that Friday 2000+ years ago. For me its very tangible, as my girlfriend and I were in Israel 2 1/2 years ago, and walked the very short pathway/road that Jesus carried the cross up toward the hill. We walked into what is now the church surrounding the spot where the cross was in the ground and the tomb where he rose from. Those images will forever bring the narrative and truth of Easter home for me.
Reading the Bible daily here, I recently read the book of Psalms from the old testament. One of my devotionals pointed me to Psalm 103, as it discussed God’s faithfulness and mercy for us and how compassionate He is. But simply knowing that isn’t enough, we need to remind ourselves daily of the many benefits of God and Jesus. There are 10 or so benefits outlined, but a few really resonate with me and so I read this Psalm every day to our Heavenly Father.
– For the grandkids, verse 17 is one of my fav-“But from everlasting to everlasting, the Lords love is with those who fear Him, and his righteousness with their children’s children”. I pray daily the grandkids know Him as they grow up!
– For my current situation verse 6 says-” The Lord works righteousness and justice for all those oppressed he sets free.
– And verse 10 he provides hope-” He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”
Today in reading one of my devotionals, it was about Lamentations 3:21-23- Don’t just settle for knowing God’s blessings, remember them every day and watch them come alive in you.” Tomorrow I’ll write about why God urges us to be of good cheer!
Pretty normal activity day. Smooth until just after dinner. They must not have had enough evening guards, so rather than have yard or movies at 6, they called an “emergency count” so we all had to sit in our cells until 7:30 when they reopened our cell doors at 7:30. Of course then it was too late for anything:)
Sunday, April 20th
Happy Easter!! He is Risen! Dying on the cross puts all my little incarceration problems into perspective, though its not always easy to remember that. Other than a good church service, one wouldn’t otherwise know today was Easter here, that’s for sure. Dinner was supposed to be Roast Turkey, but they must have boiled the turkey andit fell apart, as it was served as liquidly shreds, tasted and smelled foul. Didn’t even eat it! Thankfully as I got back to my cell, my cell mate was putting the final touches on burritos with another guy and I was able to mooch one- hallelujah!!
Got outside 7-8 am and 6-7:30 pm so at least got some exercise. Looks like weather should continue all week to be June gloom, cloudy and nice afternoon and evening. High 67 or so,light winds, I could take this year round:)
Was able to use my last 20 minutes for the next week to call both kids and wish them Happy Easter. So comforting to know everyone is doing very well and basically very blessed. Makes being in here a little easier.
Monday, April 21st
Well so much for a “normal” schedule. After an hour of writing, right at 7:30 as I was getting ready for a shower, boom! “Outside now” came the guard. So did the scramble and raced outside with everyone else. They must get great joy out of not telling us ahead of time, as otherwise they would. But if you’re trying to be a productive individual, all it does is make one throw away their plans and react. So out I went and while 50 ish and cool, decided to spend 8-10 doing my normal 1-3 pm workout and get it knocked out. Problem of course is that’s my prime writing time, so hope the library will let me in at 12:30-3 to work, even if less productive.
Chow was at 10:15, so changed into my khakis . Afterward I was lucky and found an empty picnic table to do some writing, clear on the far end of the Yard. Sure is nice out now, 60 ish, actually quite lovely:) Relatively speaking of course….
With good fortune, I got into Education/library at 12-3. An older gent, 72, works in the library and actually scored a desk in a bigger conference room with 2 desks and 3 big tables, invited me in to sit at his desk and work. Nice and quiet, plus he has a 50 inch TV on his desk, much nicer than we have in our Unit. So got to see CNN,CNBC,Fox, the whole time as well:)
Rest of the day after lockdown was TV plus getting things done in my cell. Nice to relax after such a rough start!
Tuesday, April 22nd
Today I was fully prepared to go out, and of course nothing! I’m not complaining though, I had a mental plan A or B depending, so wasn’t going to allow myself to get “zapped” of productivity two days in a row!
The morning slot I spent doing a final review of the A Better Tomorrow book, section IV. Four chapters on networking, community and family relationships, plus exhibits, fully done and sent off! That leaves section VI on Reentry and I’m done with my part. Still haven’t seen my co author’s two sections, so will try and call this weekend. Also got a book report typed on a book, In the Wild, one my sister and her husband sent. About a 22 year old who graduated from Emory University, wanted nothing to do with a materialistic society or life. So he chose to live off the land in the wilderness all over the US and ultimately Alaska. Written by an author from Central Oregon, really needed up being very interesting and thought provoking.
Tried to join a new real estate class, as a bunch of buddies talked me into it, but was full so couldn’t join anyways. The Teacher/tutor, one of our group, said he’d add me, but since I’m already a tutor don’t need to attend (or learn anything) to get credit:) So I went over to my buddy with the TV in the conference room to relax only to find out the TV died this morning. What a bummer!
Did feel good to get out twice today , 1-2 and 6:30-7:30. feels like the longest non stop workout streak in awhile, and not too sore either! Two more days until my phone minutes reload thankfully. And still no legal mail last 5 weeks, so annoying.
Wednesday, April 23rd
Well looks like yo/yo time around here. 8 am, “outside” was the call. So much better now that I’m somewhat ready. So walked the track till 9, then went to library until 10:30. Back outside till 1, then a movie. Being outside till one, got track and weights in, and was trying to write the ABT book, but just too windy, papers flying everywhere. At least got an outline done for my last section.
Movie was De Ja Vu with Denzel Washington. Of course 10 minutes before ending around 2:50, guards came and took us back to our Unit. Early move for once:) No happy ending!
My big project today was figuring out how to get 4 extra stamps for the birthday package I mailed the 2 granddaughters and their mom/daughter in law( 3 matching wrist bracelets and 3 cards:)) which was stuck in the mailroom as postage due. We weighed it prior to sending and I put on extra stamps, but somehow it was $2 short. Turns out its not so easy to get 4 stamps to the mail room. After 2 days asking guards, I learned that I should leave the stamps with my Unit guard, who then gives to the guard picking up the unit mail at 7 am. So at 6 am I gave the guard the stamps, and of course at 7:30 guard shift the mail guard hadn’t yet picked up the mail. So I asked the new guard if he would handle, and he agreed, but I’ve found him not to be too nice. Thankfully when I checked with him late morning he confirmed giving the stamps to the mail guard. Now its totally out of my control and all I can do is hope the stamps get put on the package and sent vs. taken home!
Given the ambiguity of going outside or not each day, I’ve decided tomorrow I’m just planning to g to the library at 7:30 am-10:30 to maximize my productive time.
Thursday, April 24th
Slept amazing, so got ready to race off to the library at 7:30 and gets lots done which I did! The new quiet room really helps. Definitely going to try and do this twice a week! At 10:30, learned we didn’t go outside, so went back to the Unit for a “normal” rest of the day.
I knew I had class 12-2 so would pretty much be an inside day. The topic continues to be about accepting personal responsibility for your behavior and the ripples of damage your past actions have caused others. The workbook emphasized its our choice “how” we choose to act on the following ” Bridge of Courage” as they call it:
1. Accepting Responsibility
2. Seeking Forgiveness (and forgiving)
3. Making it Right
4. Changing Course
We went around the room and each of us discussed what step is the hardest for himself. Many said #1, some #4. My point to the group is #1-3 are important, but without #4, changing course, everyone will be right back here. The instructor hadn’t tied it to recidivism before, so it led to a good group discussion. I continue to reflect on this whole topic, which is one of the benefits of the class, being thought provoking. Couple really good points were made that I totally agree with, in my current circumstances as well:
1. Can’t blame others, even God, for my decisions
2. Have to own our decisions that lead to bad circumstances or consequences
As I said on my very first blog on Responsibility, taking responsibility is Step 1, regardless of fairness or justice. From a faith perspective, then we can ask god for:
* help being a responsible person
* mercy and forgiveness
* His Will be done to help with a better outcome in time
I’m still processing on next steps on all this, guess I’ll see where my prayers lead me!!
After chow, wanted to go outside but its really windy, so decided to watch Round 1 of NFL Draft- ended up being a good choice!
Friday, April 25th
My cellmate works in maintenance and saw the outside contractors schedule yesterday, which confirmed we have no more outside days scheduled, so that makes planning easy again.
Did my normal stuff till 9, then went outside till 10 to get some walking in. Finally got my phone minutes reloaded after a week of no calls, so made a couple calls. Then back out 1-2, wasn’t feeling doing weights as my energy level was down. I think that’s due to no protein from lack of commissary like protein bars to rely on after the normal Friday crappy fish lunch of 2 oz.. fish with beans and rice. So just headed inside.
Was going to go back out after dinner, but guard shortage so no movie or yard, just stuck in the Unit. So watched NFL draft, rounds 2 and 3. Was nice to see 6-7 Oregon Duck players drafted first 3 rounds, including QB Dillon Gabriel ahead of Shadeur:) Definitely helps recruiting!
Today’s devotional was pretty impactful to me. Basically what life’s difficult stages are about. Book of James says” Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials of any kind. Why pure joy instead of pure agony?” God knows that the testing of faith produces perseverance. So that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. When i combine that with knowing God has a good plan for me, I can’t help but be encouraged. Even as hard as it is being here sometimes!
Praying for Freedom and Liberty and to see my Family and Friends soon! BJ
