Journal Entry: Peter J Haslinger-6/27/2023-Self Surrender

Journal Entry

I have been wanting to start a journal since I started my time here a week ago. The only thing holding me up was something to write on. As you may noticed I finally just decided to write on some blank typing paper. I went to the store yesterday but they were out of the notebooks they sell here. Anyway, I got here a week ago on the 20th of June. My father and wife drove me here and I waited for my friend/employer Casey Myrice in the parking lot because he was running late and I could not be late for my self-surrender appointment. We got to the prison parking lot with about 30 minutes to spare. I smoked my last cigarettes and traded small talk with my wife and my father as we waited for Casey. In the last 2 years, Casey along with my wife has been a tremendous part of my support system helping me overcome my drug addiction and reestablishing my life. He helped me get through truck driving school and gave me my first job as a truck driver. He is the owner of GlassCity Transportation in Toledo Ohio. So I had to wait for him to give me that last “brother” hug before I headed in to start this “last” prison phase of my life. I already have been through 3 Ohio State prison bids now I have a federal one to do. And I trust me I have been working hard to make sure I never have to do this again. This last bid is the motherlode of them all. 148-month sentence that’s to be served out in the Bureau of Prisons of the United States government. It’s been hard to face. It’s been hard to leave my family, church, friends and mostly my wife behind to pay this new debt I owe to society. First time I ever had to walk into a prison. No handcuffs just self surrender. I looked back out into the parking lot as I walked in and saw just my dad and Casey standing there. My wife Raven couldn’t handle it. When we said our goodbyes, she gave me a kiss and a long hug and jumped back into the car to watch me walk away. She is not much of a crying person but she was crying hard and felt the need to hide her face. Then I walked in. I could actually feel the light escape behind me and this dark gloomy feeling overwhelmed me. Seen a group of correctional officers sitting around talking. I approached the nearest one and told them I’m here to self surrender. I had my Bible and other things needed to help with maintaining my hearing aids. He told me to take a seat and somebody would be with me waited for about 10 minutes and somebody came and checked my driver’s license. Had me go through the patdown procedure and then put me in handcuffs. Took me by the elbow and escorted me back to R&D. Man I hated this feeling. I felt what I once dreaded and promised to never feel again I was feeling again.