Mark Laita invited me to share my story on the amazing platform he built, Soft White Underbelly. Below is the full video, and also a lesson for those who want the quick takeaways.
How do you transform adversity into opportunity? It’s a question I’ve spent 26 years reflecting on—I made bad choices that led me to federal prison, where I served nearly three decades. Incarceration became the beginning of my transformation.
For anyone impacted by the justice system or standing at a crossroads in life, this guide offers strategies rooted in hard-earned experience. Unlock practical tools to turn setbacks into stepping stones toward success.
1. Mindset Over Circumstances
No matter where you are, transformation begins with how you think. A shift in perspective is the first step to creating change.
2. The Power of Strategic Planning
Success requires more than hope—it thrives on preparation. A detailed plan can help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.
3. Education Equals Opportunity
Knowledge is a resource anyone can access. Education opens doors, whether it’s through reading, formal programs, or experiential learning.
4. Building a Network of Support
No one succeeds in isolation. Relationships with mentors, peers, and allies can be pivotal as you build momentum in your life.
5. Action and Accountability
Great ideas mean little without execution. Success comes when you hold yourself accountable and act consistently toward your goals.
Lesson #1: Mindset is Everything
The first day I walked into a high-security federal prison, it seemed like life as I knew it was over. But everything changed when a corrections officer handed me a book about Frederick Douglass. I learned how Douglass, born into slavery, educated himself and led a movement for abolition. It hit me—I could either sink into despair, or I could take control of my narrative.
Your mindset defines your outcomes. Here’s how to cultivate it:
- Focus on Growth: View challenges as opportunities to develop resilience and new skills.
- Visualize Long-Term Goals: Don’t just think about surviving today—focus on who you want to become years from now.
- Protect Your Optimism: Feed your mind daily with stories of people who overcame adversity—they’ll remind you of what’s possible.
Lesson #2: Success Requires a Strategy
Spontaneity won’t lead you to meaningful results. During my time in prison, I created a three-pronged strategy that became my north star. I committed to education, contributing to society, and building a support network to prepare for success after release.
Take action:
- Write Your Vision: Describe the life you desire in detail. Who do you want to become? What resources will you need?
- Break It Down: Outline the specific steps you’ll take to bring that vision to life. Short- and long-term planning is key.
- Measure Progress: Regularly review how far you’ve come, and adjust your course as needed.
Lesson #3: Invest in Education
I entered prison with poor study habits, minimal patience, and no degree. But I started writing to universities to ask for a chance. My persistence paid off. Over the years, I earned multiple degrees, published books, and even taught lessons to professors.
Education creates opportunities to connect with the world, even from the most isolating circumstances. Start small:
- Commit to Daily Learning: Set aside time every day to read, study, or learn something new.
- Study What Fuels You: Choose topics that align with your goals or ignite your curiosity.
- Leverage Free Resources: Use libraries, online courses, and mentors to deepen your knowledge.
Lesson #4: Build Meaningful Connections
Writing hundreds of letters from prison helped me build relationships with academics, mentors, and allies. Those connections not only guided me through my incarceration but also opened doors to opportunities after release.
Tips for expanding your network:
- Reach Out Intentionally: Whether by email or letter, introduce yourself to people who align with your values and goals.
- Be Persistent: Rejection or silence is common at first. Keep trying until someone responds.
- Show Gratitude: When someone gives you their time, show appreciation and clarify how their support will impact your life.
Lesson #5: Commit to Action
Without action, even the best plans fall apart. I embraced Socratic questioning—a method of asking myself tough questions to craft my daily choices. Every day, I worked toward one key question: How will this move me closer to my long-term goals?
Steps for consistent execution:
- Start with One Action: Break your plan into manageable tasks that can be achieved daily.
- Track Your Efforts: Use a notebook or digital tool to record what you’ve accomplished and what needs more effort.
- Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge every step you take, no matter how small—it reinforces your commitment.
Overcoming Challenges
Facing doubt, setbacks, or even judgment from others is inevitable. I experienced rejection from universities, skepticism from peers, and barriers within the prison system itself. Overcoming these challenges required persistence and self-belief.
If you’re struggling, think of obstacles as checkpoints—moments to sharpen your approach, gather strength, and double down on your commitment. Surround yourself with positivity, and focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t.
Conclusion
Success isn’t an accident—it’s the byproduct of mindset, preparation, and relentless action. Whether you’re seeking to overcome a mistake, build resilience, or achieve a new milestone, the strategies I’ve shared can guide you toward meaningful progress.
You have the power to write the next chapter of your life—starting today. Take a moment to reflect on where you want to go and how these steps can fit into your own path toward success.
Self-Directed Reflection Question
What’s one deliberate action you could take today to bring you closer to the future you want to create?
