No one is born being resilient. Experience has taught me that we can become resilient, based upon the decisions we make when we’re in the midst of a crisis. To paraphrase a quote I once heard about gold being forged through the fire of adversity, we forge resilience in the fire of our greatest adversity.
I learned these lessons by studying leaders, while beginning a term that would keep me in prison for decades. Since I spent the first year of the term in solitary confinement, experiences taught me to build hope, define success, and train my mind on perseverance. Any person can work to become more resilient.
Whether you’re navigating personal challenges, professional setbacks, or moments that test your will, you can empower yourself by thinking about how to build resilience.
Prison challenges would frequently strip away the distractions of life outside. While inside, I learned how to become comfortable with solitude. In solitude, we can build a stronger mind, because we have to become at peace with where we are, with who we are.
- What do you do when your freedom is gone, and external forces dictate where you sleep, what you eat, and even what you can learn?
You decide, in that moment, what you’re going to become. Resilience begins when we decide to prepare for a better future, no matter how far away it seems.
I found strength by reading many books, including The Bible. Though I wasn’t religious, the stories resonated with me. The story of The Prodigal Son gave me hope with the tale of redemption, of returning to the right path even after making mistakes. It also helped me to accept that regardless of how hard I worked, others would always judge me for the bad decisions of my youth. Another story, The Parable of the Talents, taught that we have a responsibility to use what we have, no matter how small, to create something meaningful.
Biblical stories planted a small but powerful belief in my mind: the belief that life could still offer hope and a chance at redemption—but only if I took responsibility for my own future. My life could change, but I had to be the one to change it. I’d have to adopt the CEO Mindset
We all can live as if we’re the CEO of our life. A CEO is responsible for the success or failure of his or her organization. Effective CEOs don’t waste time lamenting circumstances—they focus on strategy, growth, and intentional actions that will lead to success.
Here’s how you can apply the CEO mindset to your life, no matter the challenges you’re facing:
1. Define Success
What does success look like for you? Be specific. Is it building better relationships, achieving career goals, or becoming mentally stronger? Clarity is essential because resilience depends on having a target to strive toward.
Ask yourself:
- What are my values, and how do they shape my definition of success?
- What will it look like when I’ve overcome my current challenges?
Success doesn’t happen by accident. It starts with defining what matters most.
2. Create a Plan
“Vision without action is merely a dream.” This quote from Joel A. Barker reminds us that a plan is the bridge between where we are now and where we want to go.
Break down your goal into manageable steps. What can you do today, this week, or this month to move closer to your vision of success?
While in solitary, I learned how to make simple plans, starting with the basics:
- Developing a daily routine,
- Setting goals for self-improvement, like reading and writing,
- Committing to learning something new every day.
Small, consistent actions compound into big results over time. They also opened new opportunities.
3. Build Tools, Tactics, and Resources
Resilient people build resources:
- Knowledge: Learn from books, mentors, and personal experiences. They all lead to mental strength and confidence.
- Physical Well-Being: Incorporate movement, nutrition, and rest into your routine.
- Support Systems: Even CEOs surround themselves with advisors. Lean on family, friends, or support groups for strength.
Tools like these ensure life’s challenges can shape you positively, not weaken you.
Inspired by Socrates
During those years, I also found guidance in the works of Socrates. His philosophy about being intentional brought a profound lesson that I continue to rely upon today. Rather than focus on the enormity of my challenges, I started focusing on my relationship with others. I mediated on:
- How I could make amends and reconcile with society.
- How I could bring value to the lives of those around me—despite my current circumstances?
- How I could use time inside to prepare for success outside.
This mindset shift that Socrates inspired helped me focus on how I could build relationships with people in society, on the other side of prison boundaries. That strategy empowered me through the journey, even allowing me to marry when I still had more than 10 years remaining to serve.
Resilience is the foundation of success in every area of life. It empowers us to face adversity head-on, adapt to changing circumstances, and keep moving forward with purpose. For me, resilience meant redefining my life’s mission even when I had lost my freedom. For you, it might mean navigating professional challenges, overcoming personal setbacks, or simply finding the strength to keep going when life feels overwhelming.
Ultimately, resilience is the result of intentional choices. It requires effort, reflection, and the courage to start again—sometimes daily.
As we teach in our courses, remember these steps:
- Define what success means to you.
- Plan your path with clear, actionable steps.
- Equip yourself by building tools, tactics, and resources for the road ahead.
I’ll conclude with an inspiring quote by Viktor Frankl, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Self-Directed Question:
- Describe how you’ve used a personal crisis to grow stronger and bring more value to the world.
