When I entered prison at 23 years old, I didn’t know what the future held. I’d never been incarcerated before, and since authorities locked me in solitary confinement, I didn’t have an opportunity to interact with others. It took a while before I came to turns with the changes in my life, but those changes helped me realize that I needed to learn how to think differently if I wanted a life worth living after release.
At those earliest stages of the journey, I didn’t know that mentors would play a key role in reshaping not only my mindset but also my entire trajectory. Through the years, mentors helped me access wisdom, stay accountable to my goals, and transform adversity into purposeful action.
Mentorship unlocks potential. Whether you’re navigating personal growth, career decisions, or overcoming life’s obstacles, having a mentor can serve as both a compass and an anchor. This guide will explore how mentorship fosters resilience and success, break down the types of mentorship relationships, and offer practical steps to help you become a mentee—or mentor—on your path to growth.
Why Mentorship Matters
At its core, mentorship provides three game-changing benefits for personal and professional development:
- Guidance – Mentors offer a roadmap based on real-world experience, helping you avoid pitfalls and prioritize what truly matters.
- Accountability – It’s one thing to set goals; it’s another to stay committed to them. A mentor keeps you accountable and pushes you beyond your comfort zone.
- Wisdom – With years of experience, mentors share lessons learned the hard way, accelerating your learning curve significantly.
For me, mentorship showed up in ways I never expected. While serving time, I connected with people through books, letters, and lessons. Figures like Nelson Mandela, Viktor Frankl, and Stephen Covey became silent mentors through their writings, helping me develop discipline, integrity, and resilience. But as I wrote in various books and on the PrisonProfessors.org website, mentors from universities, business, and other communities came into my life as well. They’d visit me in prison. They’d advocate on my behalf, and they proved pivotal relationships in opening opportunities once I got out. For example, I had invitations to collaborate with Stanford Law School, with UC Berkeley, and thanks to an editor at the San Francisco Chronicle, millions of people became aware of my return to society, which led to my becoming a professor at San Francisco State University.
Whenever doubt crept in, the wisdom shared by mentors reminded me that progress wasn’t just possible—it was necessary.
Types of Mentorship
Mentorship isn’t one-size-fits-all. Each relationship offers unique benefits, depending on where you’re at in your growth journey.
1. Formal Mentorship
These relationships are often structured and facilitated through programs, organizations, or companies. Think of career mentoring programs or executive coaches. A formal mentor helps you set specific goals and provides actionable advice to help you meet them.
2. Informal Mentorship
These organic relationships evolve naturally—perhaps with a senior colleague, an inspiring friend, or even someone you admire online. They might not call themselves your “mentor,” but their guidance can be just as impactful.
3. Reverse Mentorship
Here’s where things get interesting. Reverse mentorship flips the dynamic, allowing younger or less experienced individuals to guide seasoned professionals. For example, a recent graduate may mentor a senior leader on new technologies or trends. This fosters mutual learning and keeps both perspectives refreshed.
4. Group Mentorship
Some situations call for collective wisdom. Joining mastermind groups, industry communities, or focus groups allows you to learn from multiple voices, forming a network of mentors while contributing your own insights.
How to Find the Right Mentor
A powerful mentorship relationship doesn’t just happen—it takes strategy and intention. Here’s how to get started:
Step 1: Identify Your Growth Areas
What do you want to achieve? Whether it’s building your career, developing emotional resilience, or improving a specific skill, clarity is key. Write down your goals and the kind of guidance you need to reach them.
Step 2: Tap Into Networks
Your mentor might already be part of your circle—or just a connection away. Tap into resources like LinkedIn, professional groups, alumni networks, or local industry organizations. Don’t limit yourself to in-person connections; tech has made finding a mentor easier than ever.
Step 3: Reach Out the Right Way
When reaching out to a potential mentor, keep your message concise and specific. For example:
“Hi [Name], I admire how you [mention specific achievements]. I’m currently working on [explain goal] and would deeply value your insights. Would you consider a brief call to discuss your perspective?”
Show gratitude for their time and be prepared with thoughtful, tailored questions.
Becoming a Great Mentee
Mentorship comes with responsibilities. Be the kind of mentee who fosters a meaningful, dynamic relationship.
- Take Initiative – Drive the relationship forward. Don’t wait for your mentor to reach out—schedule meetings, ask questions, and apply what you learn.
- Be Open to Feedback – Sometimes, critical advice stings. That’s okay. Growth comes from being coachable and willing to work on weaknesses.
- Express Gratitude – A simple thank-you can go a long way in showing your mentor that their time and effort matter.
- Give Back – As your experiences grow, don’t hesitate to “pay it forward” and become a mentor to someone else.
One of the most fulfilling moments of my own growth came when I transitioned from being mentored to mentoring others. Shortly after release, I started to build businesses that would allow me to earn a living, but also visited prisons where I could share more about the strategies that empowered me. I wanted those people to rebuild their lives with strategies that leaders had taught me how to develop. The ripple effect of mentorship is immeasurable.
Real-Life Success Stories
Some of history’s greatest achievements were built on mentorship.
- Peter Thiel & Mark Zuckerberg – Thiel mentored Zuckerberg during Facebook’s formative years, helping him refine his leadership skills.
- Maya Angelou & Oprah Winfrey – Oprah often credited Angelou for teaching her profound life lessons, including how to “be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud.”
- My Story – During my time in prison, mentors—both direct and indirect—guided me to build frameworks like the Straight-A Guide. I wrote about all I learned from my friends Lee Nobmann, and Greg Reyes—leaders who built billion dollar companies. These lessons shaped the business and personal success I’ve experienced after release.
Whether on a global stage or in everyday lives, mentorship transforms challenges into opportunities.
Transform Your Journey Through Mentorship
Mentorship is a necessity for personal growth and professional success. By finding the right mentor, cultivating the relationship, and giving back, you’ll join a legacy of individuals who didn’t just survive adversity but thrived because of it.
Here’s your next step—think of one area where you’re ready to grow. Write down three potential mentors you admire and reach out to at least one this week.
And remember, growth doesn’t stop here. Whether you’re learning or teaching, mentorship is a lifelong practice that builds resilience, deepens connections, and unlocks potential you never knew you had.
Can mentorship transform your personal and professional path? The answer is waiting on the other side of one bold decision.
Self-Directed Question
- What would you achieve if you fully committed to learning from others while sharing your own unique experiences?
