When I reflect on resilience, I think about the 26 years I spent in federal prison. Those years were full of challenges—from isolation in solitary confinement to the constant uncertainty about when or if I’d find my way back to society. But that experience taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life—resilience isn’t an inherent trait; it’s a skill we develop through disciplined daily habits.
When life becomes unpredictable and overwhelming, it’s easy to feel defeated. But history and experience tell us otherwise. I’ve frequently written about the role that Socrates had on my life, but Aristotle, a philosopher who studied under Plato, once said:
- “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Similarly, resilience emerges not from a single heroic act but through small, intentional actions consistently repeated over time.
Here, I’ll share the daily habits, strategies, and principles that helped me cultivate resilience during my time in incarceration—and how you can apply them to your life.
What is Resilience?
Resilience is the ability to adapt to challenges, recover from setbacks, and maintain a sense of purpose despite adversity. Philosophers like Socrates often challenged us to ask better questions when faced with hardship. For me, one powerful question framed my outlook in those early days of prison confinement:
- “What can I control versus what must I accept?”
Resilience doesn’t mean being impervious to pain or loss. Instead, it allows us to respond with strength, perseverance, and a focus on long-term growth.
But how do we develop it?
The key lies in turning resilience into a habit.
The Benefits of Developing Resilience
Building resilience leads to benefits that enhance every facet of life:
- Improved Mental Health: Resilient individuals are less likely to be consumed by stress, anxiety, or frustration.
- Adaptability: Resilience fosters flexibility when faced with the unexpected, whether in personal relationships, career, or life decisions.
- Strengthened Problem-Solving: With resilience, difficulties become opportunities to find creative solutions.
- Sense of Purpose: Resilience is linked to intrinsic motivation and the ability to set and pursue meaningful goals.
For me, resilience also strengthened my ability to envision the life I wanted post-prison, giving me the confidence to act daily toward that vision—no matter the obstacles.
6 Steps to Build Resilience Through Daily Habits
1. Start with Self-Reflection
Resilience begins with self-awareness. Establish a practice of reflection to identify how you respond to adversity and recognize your opportunities for growth.
Actionable Steps:
- Spend 10–15 minutes each day journaling your thoughts, fears, and reactions to challenges.
- Ask yourself, “What lessons can I learn from today’s difficulties?” Writing down your thoughts brings clarity and allows you to translate chaos into focus.
When I first read about Socrates in solitary confinement, I realized how powerful it is to think critically about yourself and ask purposeful questions like, “How can I turn this obstacle into an opportunity?”
Any time I have an opportunity to teach the lessons I learned from leaders, I encourage them to introspect on such Socratic questions. Then, they should journal, or write the answers in a public form. We created PrisonProfessorsTalent.com specifically to help people in prison connect with society, preparing for success upon release.
2. Build a Resilient Morning Routine
How you start your day shapes your mindset for the rest of it. Simple morning rituals, such as practicing gratitude or focusing on a task, help establish mental resilience.
Actionable Steps:
- Begin each day by listing three things you’re grateful for. Gratitude shifts your perspective, refocusing your mind on what’s within your control.
- Incorporate movement into your morning to build both physical and mental strength. A short walk, stretch, or workout increases focus and relieves anxiety. Even while locked in solitary confinement, I disciplined myself to exercise, even if it was running from one side of the cell to the other.
- Dedicate five minutes to set an intention for the day. For example, when I faced a 45-year sentence, my morning intention was simple but powerful—“Learn something meaningful today.” Later, it became more specific: Write 1,000 words every day.
3. Choose Growth Over Comfort
Growth often happens outside of our comfort zone. Resilient individuals welcome challenges with curiosity and determination, reminding themselves of what they stand to gain from discomfort.
Actionable Steps:
- Each week, take on one difficult task outside of your comfort zone. Whether it’s giving a presentation or learning a new skill, normalize the feeling of challenge.
- Framing is key. Instead of thinking, “This is too hard for me,” reframe your thoughts to, “This is helping me grow stronger.”
One of my biggest lessons came from Aristotle’s belief that habitual excellence is a form of strength.
4. Establish Clear Goals and Micro-Habits
Clear goals give your resilience a sense of purpose. Micro-habits—small, intentional actions—contribute daily wins toward bigger objectives.
Actionable Steps:
- Define one long-term goal, such as improving your finances, health, or relationships.
- Break it into smaller micro-goals. For instance, when I wanted to write a book in prison, my micro-goal was to write 1,000 words daily. Small steps compound into extraordinary results.
Micro-goals also provide measurable wins, which build confidence and momentum.
5. Cultivate a Resilient Mindset
Our beliefs shape our actions. Resilient individuals adopt empowering narratives, focusing on what they can control.
Actionable Steps:
- Reaffirm your inner narrative. Replace thoughts like, “Why me?” with statements like, “This is making me.”
- Surround yourself with uplifting mentors—books, podcasts, and people that inspire perseverance. When I read Frederick Douglass’ autobiography, I learned that even under impossible odds, investing in your skills leads to liberation.
6. Celebrate Small Wins
Resilience thrives on recognition. Each small victory, no matter how minor, reinforces our capacity to endure and overcome.
Actionable Steps:
- At the end of each week, list three victories big or small—completed tasks, lessons learned, or moments of courage. Reflect on how these wins shape your larger purpose.
- Create a reward system for milestones. During my incarceration, my reward for completing a course or milestone was allowing myself extra leisure reading with a book by Viktor Frankl or Dante Alighieri.
Recognizing progress balances the weight of struggles, reminding us of our resilience.
Resilience in Practice
While in solitary confinement, I leaned on daily habits to preserve my mental clarity and motivation. Every night before sleep, I asked myself, “What did I accomplish today to become better tomorrow?” Even small victories—a completed letter to a mentor, a 30-minute workout, or a deeper insight from reading—bolstered my confidence and belief in my ability to shape the future.
I’m not unique in this. History is filled with stories of ordinary individuals—people like Frederick Douglass or Viktor Frankl—who used their circumstances as training grounds for resilience.
Why Resilience Is a Lifelong Practice
Resilience isn’t about one moment of triumph. It’s a long-term commitment to building yourself, brick by brick, into someone stronger, wiser, and more capable. And it’s a practice that evolves with you as new challenges arise.
By cultivating daily habits, focusing on your growth, and anchoring your life to clear goals, you prepare for whatever comes your way—not just to endure it but to emerge stronger and more empowered.
Final Reflection
Whatever it is, start small, stay consistent, and watch as strength becomes your second nature. Reflect on how shifting your mindset can turn obstacles into stepping stones, empowering you to uncover your untapped potential.
Self-Directed Question
- What daily habit can you adopt today to lay the foundation for a more resilient version of yourself tomorrow?
- When faced with adversity, what perspective can you choose that transforms the challenge into an opportunity for growth?
