Journal Entry: Lynnette Marie Jacobs-08/12/2023

Journal Entry

What a long week…

I hear everyone around me talking about dates. They say when is the unit team going to submit their halfway house paperwork… how many many months to the door they are, FSA Time credit, and the new law that goes into effect in NOV that will lower the criminal points by 2 points.

For me it’s very different I am not so impatient, I mean sure no one likes prison for sure. When you are going out with no support system starting from nothing it’s very hard. I know because I have done this before. The schedule the routine the meals, jobs, clothes, showers, electricity, literally everything you are made to have here. Once released that’s all gone and is overwhelming. Life is so simple here.

I have a halfway house date of 10/11/2023. This next part I am not sure I understand no one around me seems to understand for sure.
But I denied my halfway house so I could start an HVAC program. it’s a 9-month school through Southern careers institute.

I don’t want to leave here with nothing or maybe I am just scared to leave here…. I have done time, many times only to leave with nothing and get out just to find myself doing something as before.

I am terrified of making the same mistakes.
I am not getting any younger I want a meaningful life, I make the days count there is definably not a day wasted here for me. Between learning to speak Spanish which is not easy to learn a new language. I was attending Blinn College but the contract will not be renewed so I have 21 business credits on my transcript all A’s but for sure not a certificate and defiantly not an associate degree.

I need to take something with me
and if that means volunteering to stay in prison for 9 more months it will be worth it. I hope.

unfortunately, I won’t know till the end if it was a great decision or if I will find myself thinking maybe I should have just went home, but what is home? where is home? I don’t know but if I stay to leave with trade some security once released maybe then I won’t feel so lost when they tell me I am being released maybe then I can smile.