Journal Entry: Lerin E Hughes-01/14/2025-Corrupt Courts

Journal Entry

So I talked to the lawyers yesterday and I don’t even know what to do.

Its not that I don’t trust them.. I just don’t trust the courts to not do me in again.

Several years ago I was shot after making a child welfare check on a child in the indictment it included this incident. However in court they nullified me speaking on the matter and acted as if it never was a matter.

Thats part of the reason Im suspicious about moving forward with these courts. They didn’t care about that child.. nor did they care about mine when they shot me pregnant with him.. nor cared about my life that day or even today. They don’t care if I lived or died that day. Nobody there did. They didn’t care to hear me speak on this child being trafficked.. the PTSD I still have about it.

They didn’t care when the police tried to George Floyd me.. then dropped the Case because they didn’t want to show the body cam.

I stuggle to have faith in the justice system. I stuggle to trust these lawyers and I have stuggled to work with these lawyers because I feel like they’re working for the Government. They apoligized for doing something I asked them not to and they told me if I didn’t want any of the chances of a re-opening of the indictment or res-sentencing or re-arraignment then there would be nothing to appeal.

There is no 100% chance I’ll get the same judge who will be held responsible to not sentence me to more time.

The risks are real. I just have no faith in anything and I’m stuggling. The women here are telling me this has been put on me to pave the way for the next whoses in these shoes but nobody on the other side of these greens knows until you’re behind these barbed wire fences in these greens. The staff even see the flaws in the system but what happens with this knowledge? A union silences them.

I don’t trust the public because they believe what the media tells them or the police because they have so much faith they’re not corrupt. I come from a cop family and this is how they’ve done me in and its just crazy the public thinks they’re safe from a corrupt conviction or targeting if they were to actually use their voice and advocate against injustices.

When Mark and I stood trial we were considered “hybrid counsel”.. the reason for is because we’re experienced in the law and we know what it is. I fear these lawyers are new in the game and don’t understand the cult like dynamics of how they silence those being abused when and how they want to.

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of putting trust into judges that don’t care about the abuse I’ve gone through myself who are supposed to be the ones who put a stop to that. If they have failed to do so this far whose to say it will magically stop when these lawyers try to negioate a “fair deal” on an unfair conviction so far.

It literally almost makes me want to keep going to just show the public what happens when you do your time yet when the courts have no intergrity what can happen. I don’t trust the courts. I had a reccomendation from Dr Killian a forensic psychatrist for a reccomendation for my release for pre-trial to obtain better care for my child even before I was thrown on the concerate floor pregnant with him that was denied.. then denied again knowing thats how I had to carry my child. “A danger to society” .. I’m sure that would be the same exuse again to throw me into those conditions even after they release me but chose to re-arraign me if I keep appealing. Even after their own rehabilitation in their own prison.

I’m crying to God, I don’t know what to do. I just cried to my lawyers that I want to go home I don’t want to come back not to send me back. I feel bad for them I think they really are just here to fight for me and its hard because when I had lawyers who wouldnt even meet me or told me I had “no defense” and I told them thats their job to come up with one its hard to ignore the true fighters for my justice and freedom even if it throws me back to the wolves.

I just cried to them.. and guess what my case is and I’ve been tried for.. causing emotional distress………. crazy. I will never be able to afford the psychatric help after all of this and thats why I’ve asked for 15 million to attempt to afford it from my civil case starting from the abuse I’VE endured in the county. However .. the courts seem to be the “liasion” in the case .. defending .. the abuse.

I have trust issues so bad right now I can’t even trust myself and my ability to choose my own fate. My heart is so heavy. Like Tee Grizzly asked “you ever been inside a federal court room.. how you ever went to trial and fought for your life”… I’m tired of fighting. I don’t have the strenght… someone asked me if these lawyers were my God send to keep fighting..

Its like the courts want you to have no emotions .. no feelings .. if you even tried to defend yourself anymore thats used against you anymore. I sat 9 months before tried .. yet “innocent until proven guilty”.. DOJ or JOD because this system is so backwards.