“One Good Thing”
As part of the program that I am participating in, we have a morning meeting everyday. During each meeting we have a “Care and Concern” process. It is when one peer invites up to the podium in front of the community another peer to explain the behavior that is hindering her growth and healing. Most of the time people are truthful and at times it is vindeictive. The process is not easy and can be at times humiliating. I received a Care and Concern this week that I believe was given in a malicious manner and was a lie about my character. I did not like this, I was accused of displaying entitlement because I sit at the same spot and when I get up to speak to a peer or use the phone I leave my things, which is accepted among the community. I do in fact do this. I am not the only one who displays this exact behavior, over 50 others do as well, however I was the only one held accountable for it. The individual added a lie to the honest wrong doing. I was receptive, I needed to repeat everything that she said about me and this is to show to the DTS that I am actively listening. I was successful in being accurately receptive which proved to myself and others that I was able to control my emotions and use active listening. I was upset about the lie, I did not understand why she had to add the lie. Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend, she sided with me and agreed that it was wrong, however she also asked me “avoid the vindictive part and to take one thing I can learn from this.” I looked at her confused, unable to find anything to learn from. She changed her language and said “Ok Stubborn, find one thing that you could have done differently.” I was able to recognize a few things to learn from. “you see you can learn something good from something bad”, she said. This put me on a path to acceptance of my faults and why I am here. So yes, I didn’t full know I was breaking the law and I didn’t have intent to do so but still, I learned to accept the fact that I was wrong. My wrongs are very far from what the government claimed my part was, however I was asking myself today the same question my friend asked me yesterday. Is there anything I could have done differently? The answer is, I could have done many things differently. I am not the same woman I use to be and I can see now that sometimes that bad things can have a silver lining. I want to finish this entry with a story that the Raabi told me today. The story is about a Chinese farmer. The farmer was very poor, all her had was his farm, his horse and his son to help him. One day the horse left and did not come back. The farmers friend said “I am sorry for your bad luck” the farmer responded “maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad, we will see.” Two weeks later, the horse came back and brought 5 other horses that followed him. When the friend came by he praised the farmer for his good luck the farmer replied “Maybe its good, maybe its bad, we will see.” A few days later the farmers son fell off his horse and broke his leg, the farmers friend came over again and had lemonade with him and said “I am so sorry for you my dear friend that your son broke his leg, who will help you now? How will you provide for yourself?” The farmer replied “maybe its good maybe its bad, we will see.” Days later the military came to pick out the able young men to fight for the country, when they came to the farmers house, his son was the only one they could not take because of his broken leg, later when the farmers friend came he said “my dear friend, you are so lucky, your son is the only one saved from going to war” the farmer replied “Maybe its good, maybe its bad, we will see.” The moral of the story is that sometimes we see events as negative and sometimes the the negative in the short term can bring about a positive long term. I am choosing from now on to see at least one good thing and one thing I could do differently in bad situations.
