Journal Entry: Jerrilee Barajas-02/02/2025

Journal Entry

  1. I’ve wrote letters to individuals in the community to ask them to be my mentor and support especially upon release. I do recovery workbooks. I work as a Mental health companion and suicide companion. I help host meditation in PTP and I am working on facilitating a weekly peer led NA/AA meeting. Ive been in contact with a sober living house and as long as I stay in contact with her she will accept me upon release.
  2. Earning freedom has because when I read it I see things in a different perspective and for me I already have the drive I just needed direction.
  3. I am a really hard worker who learns fast and I am very people oriented with strong boundaries. That I have gained since being indicted. I have a goal to start my own recovery center for survivors of human trafficking and to help bring more awareness and safe houses. I want to help people learn about God and that they are enough and an important part of society and their community. Teach people to have a voice and a choice in life to become strong assertive independent individuals of society. I’ve been through so much and didn’t have the right direction or tools and now that Ive gone through extensive healing and recovery. I feel like it’s my path to help and be that light and guide for others.
  4. I’ve been told that I am someone to look up to and come to for advice that I seem like I have a good head on my shoulders and strong faith in God and a new sense of direction and its admirable. (I say Im still learning and growing though)
  5. The risk is that its unsuccessful and it fails the rewards will be seeing people heal and grow and find who they are and seeing the transformation. Its beautiful and so meaningful when you’re a part of it.
  6. I’m not sure because I plan to go to a sober living after the halfway house and work hard, volunteer and get in touch with contacts research locations and prices and put together a budget plan and set goals 1, 3, 5 years to be up and running. Write non profits and start up business maybe even some grant writings to see where the community can help. I do know I will owe for 19 years of child support by the time I am released as I do not have the funds to make those payments monthly or have the financial support and ability to pay. I do plan to write a book or two I have to get the manuscripts first. One on my life one on the gastric bypass how I not only lost the weight but I lost my sobriety and identity too and then one on stating a new life with God and building a new sturdy foundation in christ.
  7. I would like to see more relapse prevention and even peer led AA/NA meetings. Also federal I make .12 cents an hour Its just not enough to cover even the essentials.
  8. I have resource community contacts that I have provided to women in here and to family and their friends to reach out for recovery or support Ive shared mu story and let my mess be someones message. While on pretrial I was a sponsor, I worked at a recovery center as a program manager, I was secretary of the AA board of my home meeting.Took women to meetings helped them find jobs and get into treatment or outpatient. Took them to appointments or interviews. Encouraged and empowered them to lead sober healthy successful lives also go talk to them when they had urges to relapse help them with a wellness plan and a relapse prevention plan.
  9. I am getting an apprenticeship for peer support specialist. I am a psych Companion. Im always learning from the new comer in a sense. Im able to dissect what works and don’t work for the women.
  10. I am working toward a curriculum to present for a peer led AA/NA or support groups. I created a class one called R.A.S.S.A resource awareness and support for substance abuse. Teaches the 12 steps and how to prepare a relapse prevention plan and brings awareness to the support in prisons and the support in the community. However Im still waiting to hear back from the teacher if it needs adjusting or if it will even be a class I had to omit God and use higher power and a few other changes but we have to make sure it will fit in education not cross psychology or religious.
  11. To be honest as long as I am helping others and am sober I am going to be ok. I don’t need thousands of dollars to survive and thrive. Sure it would be nice but its not my drive.Ive learned to live on the bare minimal and as long as my work entails helping others God will provide the rest.
  12. I feel like that has been my mindset since I got out of treatment on pretrial.
  13. Ive had the drive and have been active in doing my time from my job to my classes, wanting to make a change and a difference. But, since reading earning freedom Ive decided to write a couple books or a memoir that will have 4 parts.
  14. I read books by Francine Rivers which relates to stories out of the bible. It teaches me to be humble and helps me grow my faith in my walk with God. I read Psychology books to gain more knowledge in mental health and recovery. I even do workbooks on 12 steps adn on anxiety, depression and trauma learning for myself to heal while keeping and taking notes for things that might work best for programming in the recovery center I plan on making one day.
  15. By putting together a handbook and policy book, also, the day to day lay out of the program.
  16. Motivation and drive clear direction and results.
  17. It will keep the path in focus and aligned.
  18. Their resilience and drive to persevere and succeed.
  19. Writing the books and Finding editors and publishers.
  20. With radical acceptance and faith.
  21. My mess can be the next persons message.
  22. I’ve gone through adoption at the age of 2 and went back and forth between the families even a foster home. Endured sexual,physical ,Emotional abuse. Started meth at 15 got into a fight and stabbed a girl got arrested and was going to be tried as an adult so the released me on pretrial and from the age of 15-17 I was homeless on drugs at 17 I got pulled over in a stolen vehicle then got sentenced to 2 1/2 to 5 1/2 years women’s correctional facility. I was there till 19 got out to a halfway house then shortly relapsed and met my ex husbands got pregnant so we both got sober. We built our family and our own little empire together. After 13 1/2 years I relapsed and lost everything in 8 months of that relapse. I think after having the Gastric bypass I switched addictions. I went through and identity crises and did not know the symptoms of relapse so from 2018-2021 I was hooked on drugs homeless. I got back on my feet but each time relapsed and lost everything again. It was a vicious never ending cycle. I was involved with a man and because of my safety and my kids safety when we got caught and indicted I pled guilty. I was able to get out on pretrial after 8 months I did intense impatient 90 days then sober living with structure intense outpatient then eventually outpatient. I learned a lot and did some major healing. I got a job as a resident advocate at a recovery center for human trafficking survivors called Rejuvenating Women. I began intense training learning about DID,SRa,trauma informed care and son became a case manager grew report with the residents and the company and community as a whole and not long after became a program manager. That’s how I came to learn what path I want to take in life what brings meaning to my life in helping others. I still had court I admitted guilt and took my time of 15 years. So being here I want to write about my life my trails and tribulations my accomplishments. Gastric bypass, changing addiction to addiction, being bounced around as a child and abused how it turned me into and angry uncared for teen with no direction, homelessness, recovery and healing and my faith.
  23. By staying sober and involved in no matter where but the community. Daily living the 12 steps especially the 12th step.
  24. Keeping faith and knowing God uses everything for his greater good stay geared toward learning and change. Staying persistent and consistent.
  25. Peer led recovery and healing – AA/NA meetings instead of random education ACE packets bring Recovery packets plant seeds in our minds of recovery,sobriety,healing ,compassion Maybe offer free college courses.

I have some other entries I’d like to respond to and plan to in time I print them meditate on them and answer them when I have the chance to financially.

Thank you again for your time as well in giving us an outlet. I try to spread the message and share the books I’ve gotten so far and hope it helps others as well.

Have a great evening.