It is a new month and a new beginning. I need to look at what I can fix within myself to be a better person not only to my family but also to any future mentors that may come into my life. My goal is to continue learning all the skills that will make me successful once I return to society.
Kindness by Fernando Cordova
Lately I have been pondering on the word kindness. How I have seen it in action. How I viewed it in the past and how I view it now. How kindness was shown to me and how I in return showed kindness. How does society view kindness? These thoughts come to mind because of the recent changes I have made in my life and how many of these facets of this word have changed for me.
I always thought I knew what kindness was and how to put it into action. Yet, honestly I never knew what it meant to be kind. I have been operated from society for so long that in this society, prison, we all seem to change the meanings of words. For example, to me kindness was giving a guy an extra week to pay me what he owed me or not hurting him over his debt. I am sure that any reader of this will say how absurd that sounds. I know because I have reread those words and it all sounds absurd to me now. I even viewed kindness as a weakness, as a way for people to take advantage of me. Kindness became a taboo word for me due to my involvement in activities that are contrary to the law. I pushed kindness to its deepest depths within me. I allowed what I went through and what I was exposed to hardened my heart.
Then as time went on and I met someone that became an inspiration to me all this changed. I opened up about my past and let things go that had only been dragging me down. I would not allow the real me to come out of fear. Fear that I would be seen as weak.
Fear that people would not respect me, but this special someone taught me differently. She came into my life like an angel sent by God. I would fight with her over these things yet as I watched closely I saw kindness at its best. I saw the way she would help others without wanting anything in return. She gave people hope, hope to be themselves. This eventually allowed me to open my heart and find kindness in it. I started to break out of the rough exterior that I had encapsulated myself in. I became me. I chose to be kind to others regardless of what could happen to me. Regardless of what others would think. I learned that machismo only takes you so far in life. I knew there was more to my relationship with the word kindness. As my heart yearned to be kind and help others. Yet I shut that part of me off. In turn I became a follower of others, which I have never been, but because It is what I really was I was a fake. Now I can be me and help others with a smile and a kind word or at times with no words at all just show kindness and walk away. This makes me happy now.
All these thoughts and changes have led me to be more at peace, finally being the person I was born to be. I can not tell you if we are all born with kindness or if it is learned behavior. I want to believe this an innate characteristic, because God is so kind to us and we are made in his image. I recall the moments of visiting with my wife and children and how kind they were to me and how I was kind to them. How I was free of the chains of captivity that the prison culture created in me. I knew at that point I needed to change. That I needed to be kind, that I needed to show kindness to all. I started to imagine a world full of kindness. A world where kindness is the norm. It was not an easy transition I must admit. In the beginning I would change the subject when my wife would bring up all the flaws in my way of thinking. I did not want to hear that I was wrong or that I was guilty of polluting the lives of others through my actions. I do not know if she prayed for a change in my life.
Yet that is what exactly happened. At a moment of my weakest point, God’s power became perfect and uplifted me. Took out the worry of what others may think and showed me the kindness that I had not shown. Placed in my body a new heart, one full of love and kindness. I became me again, not the façade that I had put up for so long. My heart became empathetic to the plight of others. I gained a sincere concern for others and the need to help. It gives such a great feeling to no longer hide behind a façade of machismo and hate. It is a great feeling and such a powerful release to finally be me. To have kindness in my heart and show it each and every day. Daily I ask questions to see who is in need, yet the best feeling is how much this has caught on. I am around some of the most hardened criminals and to see them show kindness brings such a warm feeling.
Kindness is not for the weak, as I once thought. Kindness is for the strong, as I am sure all of us have been through troubling times and that one person came and showed us kindness. We should not forget this event in our life and be kind in return to those that need it. The impact of kindness is huge, I say this from personal experience. My wife brought kindness into my life and I am so grateful for that moment. It changed my entire view of life and opened my eyes to the damage I have done not only to myself but to society as a whole. Kindness is so strong that I compare it to a dam that can change the flow of water of a river. Although the water wants to power through it ends up complying and this same water brings life to another area. This is what kindness has done for me.
Let us allow kindness to prevail and show kindness to one another. The world can be changed by one kind word or action at a time. I never thought I would be speaking like this but I am happy that I am. Kindness can be so life changing if we allow it into our lives. Inside of all of us is an urge to help and be kind. Allow it to blossom like a flower in the spring. Kindness transforms even the hardest of hearts, brings about a unity of people, and does not separate us. Try it, you may enjoy it!
