Entry 7: Cognitive Dissonance
I still recall the internal conflicts I experienced as new values, principles, and beliefs broke down the doors behind which my old values, principles, and beliefs had once stood. It was something like an ideological battle: a war for my thinking.
To paint a clear picture think of the image in which a little angle is standing on your right shoulder and a little devil is standing on your left shoulder. This is what is felt like as I heard both sides pitch to me the ideologies of Good and Evil.
Had I not come to grief during my confinement I probably would have entertained that little devil out of familiarity with his teachings. But my commitment to change was so intense I brushed him off and decided at that moment forward to listen to a new tune.
It took a while to find the rhythm, but eventually I found it. The only question I had was why did it take all this pain and lose to change me?
