Arriving at the end of this journey through the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I am invited to take a moment to reflect on renewal and the critical role that the intentional practice of it plays in my ability to sustain effectiveness over time. So much of what Dr. Covey wrote about our relationship to and care of ourselves, as well as the contributions we make to the community of our fellows, is more applicable than ever in today’s chaotic and often divisive world. I need this wisdom of renewal and revitalization in practice because the world needs me to show up and shine my light.
Life is hard sometimes, especially in prison. It has a way of wearing us out. If I am being honest about it, however, I often make it harder than it needs to be. I take the hardship life deals me and the natural pain of attempting to grow, and unnecessarily heap my own helping of suffering on top. The added dimension of suffering is what exhausts me. Surpassing my limits and crashing motivates me to return to self-examination, and what I often find in those moments of clarity is misalignment. Dr. Covey shared a truism in Habit 7, Sharpen the Saw, “Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.”
Alignment with principles does not remove hardship or pain from my life, but it does allow me to walk through even the toughest days effectively and peacefully from my center. Practicing Habit 7, or as my spiritual tradition of recovery calls it, a daily personal inventory, keeps me on track and helps me stay out of my own way.
It is liberating to know that I don’t have to wait for the flame-out to do a self-check and make any necessary course corrections. Covey gave us a helpful framework for examination and maintenance that he called the Four Dimensions of Renewal:
1. Physical–exercise, nutrition, stress management
2. Mental–reading, visualization, planning, writing
3. Spiritual–value clarification and commitment, study, meditation
4. Social/Emotional–service, empathy, synergy, intrinsic security
At first glance the list seems daunting. Who has time to devote to all of these dimensions every day? It is important for me to remember when my flawed perfectionist thinking attempts to rationalize giving up before beginning that what is being suggested is a commitment to daily progress. Any day during which I can honestly say I made conscious investments in these four categories is a victory. As these investments accrue, I see change in myself and in how I am able to handle the circumstances of my life as they arise. I am no longer exhausted. I am strengthened and energized.
My Habit 7 practice brings me fully into being proactive. I am acting rather than reacting. Dr. Covey taught that this coming around from Habit 7 to Habit 1 is not circular, but rather an upward spiral of personal growth. He called this the process of continuously learning, committing, and doing. Learn, commit, do, over and over, and upward we go. I am motivated to put forth the effort to experience this upside, and equally motivated by the fact that if I don’t invest, I am headed in the opposite direction.
To reinforce the downside risk, Covey invoked Dag Hammarskjold who said, “You cannot play with the animal in you without becoming wholly animal, play with falsehood without forfeiting your right to truth, play with cruelty without losing your sensitivity of mind. He who wants to keep his garden tidy doesn’t reserve a plot for weeds.” The simple truth is that there is no steady state, no status quo. I become what I do every day. If I’m not growing, I’m atrophying.
When we get on this upward spiral, two important benefits materialize. First we find that our state of being is more powerful than what is going on around us. We are the calm in the center of the hurricane. Dr. Covey wrote, “Someone once inquired of a Far Eastern Zen master, who had great serenity and peace around him no matter what pressures he faced, ‘How do you maintain that serenity and peace?’ He replied, ‘I never leave my place of meditation.’ He meditated early in the morning and for the rest of the day, he carried the peace of those moments with him in his mind and heart.”
And second, from this properly aligned center, we are able to robustly radiate our light. We can bring our own sunshine to the cloudiest of days. We can lift up the people around us, empowering them to hop onto their own upward spiral if they are willing.
Our final group discussion reinforced the value of making daily investments in ourselves, according to the Habit 7 checklist. Our leader Dre shared the story of realizing that, after having made changes to his way of life upon witnessing the insanity of prison, he had stumbled upon the effectiveness formula without even knowing it. Our resident cheerleader Darayl, with his self-described gift for exhortation, urged us to keep traveling on this path, encouraging each other beyond the end of our class. I found myself grateful and proud to be a member of a group of men who, in spite of our apathetic and dysfunctional environment, not only started this study of the 7 Habits, but followed it through to completion.
When I left home to report to prison, I promised my family that I would work every day to get stronger in body, mind, spirit, and relationships. In essence I was committing to the practice of Habit 7, and I kept that commitment. I triumphed, thereby, over the system’s attempt to degrade me. Dr. Covey summed up the benefits that I have experienced from the intentional use of my prison time when he wrote:
“Achieving unity–oneness–with ourselves, with our loved ones, with our friends and working associates, is the highest and best and most delicious fruit of the 7 Habits…Obviously building a character of total integrity and living the life of love and service that creates such unity isn’t easy. It isn’t a quick fix. But it’s possible. It begins with the desire to center our lives in correct principles, to break out of paradigms created by other centers and the comfort zone of other habits…As we plant the seed and patiently weed and nourish it, we begin to feel the excitement of real growth and eventually taste the incomparably delicious fruits of a congruent, effective life.”
The time for my return home is coming. I do not know exactly when they will call my number, but I do know that when they do, I will be ready. This immersive study of the 7 Habits has solidified my place and progress on the upward spiral. It has reawakened in me the abundance mentality and a strong desire to affirm the ability of all those I encounter to realize their full potential. I have the tools and the resolute intention to be an agent of positive change in this world.
I join Dr. Covey in quoting George Bernard Shaw regarding the power of service to others to manifest deep meaning in life:
“This is the true joy in life–that being use for a purpose recognized by yourself and others as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.”