In some areas of modern culture, discipline is viewed as a four letter word. It is linked to our Puritanical roots, oppression, and a stifling of personal and creative freedom. It dampens the human spirit. But not to Dr. Covey. To him, discipline is woven into the fabric of the superpower that underpins Habit 3, Put First Things First. It is a building block of success and effectiveness. It does not diminish us. Discipline is the prerequisite for unleashing our full potential.
To be a disciple is the be a “convinced adherent.” Covey made the connection when he wrote, “Discipline derives from disciple–disciple to a philosophy, disciple to a set of principles, disciple to a set of values, disciple to an overriding purpose, to a superordinate goal or a person who represents that goal.” He pointed out that discipline becomes the superpower of independent will when it is applied from a core of principles. That is the magic formula for achieving success that is sustainable over time, even through periods of hardship.
The fruits of disciplined use of the independent will are deeply satisfying, though the day-to-day work may be challenging, or even distasteful. Covey put the success mentality in simple terms by quoting an essay by E.M. Gray, “The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don’t like to do. [Successes] don’t like doing them either. But their disliking is subordinated to the strength of their purpose.”
In Habit 1, we took ownership of ourselves and our lives. In Habit 2, we took the first step of proactivity by creating a vision of our highest and best selves, and we gave ourselves a worthy mission that encompassed each of the roles we play. We employed three of our superpowers. Dr. Covey described the transition from the first two Habits to the third, wherein our fourth superpower takes center stage, “In addition to self-awareness, imagination, and conscience, it is the fourth human endowment–independent will–that really makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions and choices, and to act in accordance with them.” This is where the rubber meets the road. We’re into action now.
Being ready to proactively take on our days, we step into the ring and quickly discover the truth spoken by Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.” Life’s demands come at us. How do we handle them without being at their mercy? In the Habit 3 teaching, Covey gave us a framework for remaining proactive in the face of chaos–the “Time Management Matrix.”
On one axis is importance, and on the other, urgency, creating four quadrants. All tasks, projects, and situations that arise can be sorted into the quadrants by the two criteria of urgency and importance. Our goal is to spend as much time as possible in Quadrant II (important, not urgent) because that is the space in which we are acting upon what matters in life, rather than having life act upon us. Time spent in unimportant Quadrants III and IV is drastically minimized, and the root causes of the crises of Quadrant I (urgent, important) are addressed and cured.
Although the matrix is titled “Time Management” because it is time bound, Dr. Covey acknowledged that it is more about self-management. We don’t manage time. Time just is. We manage ourselves and our use of time, and the successful do so intentionally. He wrote, “To paraphrase [management philosopher] Peter Drucker, effective people are not problem-minded; they’re opportunity-minded. They feed opportunities and starve problems. They think preventively. They have genuine Quadrant I crises and emergencies that require their attention, but the number is comparatively small.” In other words, the more time you spend in Quadrant II, the more time you get to spend in Quadrant II.
To be able to focus on the important but not urgent, Dr. Covey encouraged us to use a physical or digital planning tool and to adopt a planning approach that has four key aspects: identifying roles, selecting tangible goals for each role, scheduling dedicated time to make weekly progress toward achieving those goals, and daily adapting. He reminded us that scheduling is not just for appointments with others. We also need to schedule dedicated time with ourselves to tackle our highest priorities.
Creating structure for each week and being disciplined in the vein of Habit 3 may seem like it is being hard on ourselves, but it is really about loving yourself enough to be committed to your own values and priorities. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “…to thine own self be true.”
Covey tied this way of being to personal integrity. In his words, “The degree to which we have developed our independent will in our everyday lives is measured by our personal integrity. Integrity is, fundamentally, the value we place on ourselves. It’s our ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves…” He evoked the idea of trust through personal integrity, circling back to the progression from independence to interdependence.
When we trust ourselves we are able to effectively trust others. In the Habit 3 context, Dr. Covey introduced the concept of “stewardship delegation” as a bridge from the private victory of Habits 1-3 to the public victory of Habits 4-6. This form of delegation embodies trust, appropriately empowers the individual, and enhances relationships. It involves mutual understanding and commitment to desired results, guidelines, resources, accountability, and consequences. As discipline unlocks potential in the individual, stewardship delegation is a force multiplier in relationships. “Trust is the highest form of human motivation,” Covey wrote to underscore its power.
It’s no coincidence that as we study the Habits, examples of their presence or absence reveal themselves in our daily prison camp life. Our group discussion focused at first on the lack of Habit 3 in a typical Thomson “fire drill” that we were going through at the time. The associate warden walked through the camp and was unsatisfied with the disarray in our living quarters. He came down on the camp administrator who came down on us, taking our pillows, and following up with daily sanitation inspections. Was this important? In a struggling institution, it doesn’t seem like it. Was it urgent? Perhaps from the perspective of the administrator because her boss made it so. But the conditions for the crisis only existed because weekly walk-throughs had not been done for months. No Quadrant II in that scenario that we could see.
The ineffectiveness of the prison administration, while instructive, is not where our discussion remained, however. We always come around to the positive, and this example led us to the flipside opportunity in which we live. In spite of periodic crises that require our attention, the vast majority of our time is still ours to use as we see fit. Our group consensus was that it is a blessing to have the freedom to practice living in Quadrant II as we engage in personal development and preparation for success upon release. We recognize that the full lives that await us will be much more demanding of our time and attention than the current reality. Best to build those Quadrant II muscles now while our days are largely wide open.
The sad fact is that most of the guys at the camp are squandering the gift of this Quadrant II time, but not me. Every day I work on my discipline and my superpowers are increasingly activated. Covey posed a question at the the beginning of the chapter on Habit 3 that I try to keep front of mind: “What one thing could you do that if you did it on a regular basis would make a tremendous difference in your life?” That dovetails perfectly with the concept of doing “the next right thing” that is espoused in my spiritual tradition of recovery.
As the exit door nears, my answer to this question is all about the people in my life. They are my first things, and being present to and engaged with them is what putting first things first looks like to me. Incarceration has taught me the value of relationships and real connection at a much deeper level. In the this next phase, my primary goal is to use my remaining days in such a manner that when I die, everyone in my life will know through my actions and attention just how much I loved them. I can think of no worthier application of my superpowers.
