Gratitude is the winning attitude. I was offered the privilege of expressing my gratitude last week at a meeting of the prison’s Community Relations Board meeting in a short speech. When Ms. Napolitano, who spearheads re-entry at the Thomson camp, originally shared the idea of a thank you to the volunteers and engaged community members who support programming at the prison, I jumped at the chance.
In attendance were the warden and his executive staff, representatives from the regional office, volunteers, and community representatives–approximately 25 people in all. It was great to see familiar and friendly faces, and interesting to contrast their reactions to my words with those from the staff, some of whom clearly (and mistakenly) viewed me as unworthy to be interrupting their meeting.
Ms. Napolitano is a shining light at Thomson, and to her professional credit, she sent me a thank you note the same day. It read, in part, “You did a really good job conveying the message! I don’t think there was any better way for all to hear the positive impact that volunteers have during one’s incarceration.” If more administrators and front-line staff took Ms. Napolitano’s lead vis a vis treating residents with respect and humanity, FCI Thomson would be a very different and more successful institution.
The text of my speech follows:
“Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share a few thoughts of gratitude with our volunteers and members of the community. A man can never be too grateful.
Before getting to the impact you all have on us, I want to thank you for showing up. I don’t think I’m disclosing a closely guarded secret when I say that the federal government bureaucracy can be cumbersome to deal with. We appreciate you trudging through the process to get yourselves in the front door.
As I reflect on the difference that volunteers and engaged community members make, three things came to mind.
First, you remind us that we are not forgotten.
I recall vividly when I arrived at Thomson in 2020. I was locked in a cell inside the main prison for Covid quarantine. I was cut off from my family and didn’t know how long I would be in there. It felt like I had dropped off the face of the Earth and an irrational fear crept into my mind that life outside would move on and my loved ones would forget about me.
I am fortunate to be highly connected to my people, but that little voice of fear sometimes still speaks up. When you show up for us, you silence that voice.
Second, you affirm our humanity.
Incarceration is a dehumanizing experience. There are efforts underway to change this in the system, but our society still has a long way to go to fully see incarcerated people as people, rather than as things or something “other.” We have all made poor choices, and some of us are deeply broken, but we are still people.
I was able to participate in the Threshold program and am a member of 12-Step recovery. The volunteers in these settings not only give their time and service, but they authentically share about themselves in a way that creates connection. By you being human, our humanity is drawn out. When you show up, we feel like people who have a chance to be healed and who can make amends for the harm we’ve caused.
And third, you help us prepare for success after release.
Life inside the institution is far removed from the world outside. Inside has its own culture and customs, many of which are flawed and counterproductive. Taking those perspectives and habits home to our families and communities is a recipe for failure.
I had the privilege of attending the welding program at Highland Community College in 2023. The classes and instructors were great, but just as important was the opportunity to be out in the world. It gave me confidence that I still knew how to behave, develop relationships, and contribute. The guys who have participated in the Thomson community service program have shared similar experiences with me. When you show up and welcome us, you give us the chance to practice being members of society. You build our confidence and increase our chances of success.
Being incarcerated can make you feel cynicism rather than hope. Volunteers inside and acceptance within the community outside are reminders for us of the goodness in the world, and our responsibility to add to that goodness. You give us strength to carry on, motivation to be our best selves, and hope for the future.
And for that, on behalf of the resident at FCI Thomson, I thank you.
