1) Whenever family visits you, the anticipation before they come is nearly all-consuming. You take a shower before they come, shave, put on your cleanest clothes and then wait restlessly outside the CO’s office so that he doesn’t have to find you when it is your turn to go. You want to get every minute available to you. When you are with your family, time simply flies by. You are so happy to see them and always a bit surprised how the kids are growing/changing since the last time you saw them. When it is time to leave, you get/give a hug to everyone and they go towards one door and you go towards another. It is a sad experience, so sad I am almost crying just thinking about it and typing this letter. The inmate must wait at a red line before he is given approval to go into the door where you are strip-searched before going back to your unit. The prison doesn’t want any contraband coming into the prison from exchanges during visits. I heard something yesterday when I was talking to another prisoner about visitors. He said, “Once you hit the red line, don’t look back.” As bad as it sounds that you shouldn’t look back at your family as they walk out their door, this is sound advice. It makes it much easier to go back to your unit and your fellow inmates if you “don’t look back.”
2) The judges always say something like “you should have thought about this before you committed the crime.” If there was someway to impart the feelings from the situation #1 outlined above, I am sure that this would help decrease crime. The feeling you feel from this is so powerful, I don’t know how it wouldn’t cause people not to commit a crime.
3) This morning we were supposed to have commissary at 6:30 and I have an FSA class at 7:30 & work at Unicor to follow. For some reason, everything is cancelled. Lucky for me, I always have a Plan B & usually a Plan C. I will now finish this journal, finish a book report on “The Big Short” and start reading “In Cold Blood” by Truman Capote. When time allows, I will do my 300 sit-ups, 300 push-ups and 50 squats. I added squats a couple of days ago and can feel it in my legs.
4) One of the things coming out from my FSA classes is what I will do when I get out. The business has been basically wrecked, so I need to find a new job. Where does a 55-year-old who worked for himself the past 15 years and with a criminal record get a decent-paying job? It weighs on my mind a bit. Luckily, I feel like I am 40 years old, so it isn’t like I don’t have the energy to do most jobs. I am sure that I will figure it out sometime in the next 18 months.
