I am trying to be more active on Prison Professors when I have a few trulinks to write. I think today is a great day to journal, as this week has been an emotional rollercoaster.
Matthew, the disabled guy I have companioned for several months is getting ready to transfer, and it is causing him to stress. HE and I have been a huge part of each others’ lives and losing that is stressful. HE fails to see the benefits of going to a medical facility better suited to house men like him. He is just “going there to die” according to him. He sees no hope whatsoever.
Today he and I spoke about hope and how it has kept me going (and everyone who faces a long sentence) throughout my sentence. Without it, I would never have made it this far. Sometimes I think God puts these situations in our lives as a lesson for ourselves also. Lately my patience has been pushed beyond boundaries, and speaking about patience and hope to Matthew has been a reminder that I need to focus on mine also.
I think it is always much more stressful around holidays, even when we think deep down that we have gotten used to this. The thought of another year without our loved ones is rough. The anxiety of wondering if the new year will bring opportunity for relief is just as bad.
I thank God, and the people who have mentored me, for helping me evolve into the man I am today, so that I no longer have the added anxiety of time in the hole and added time to my sentence. Today, I can face these challenges with confidence that I am equipped and capable of handling anything that life throws my way, and that I do not have to face it alone. I have been blessed with a strong support network. And for this I am most thankful this Thanksgiving.
