Pretrial was so busy with motions and strategies for defense that I never really had time to reflect on the seriousness of the amount of time I was facing, and the impact it would have on my life and the lives of my family. Or maybe I was in denial of it.
It took some time for the numbness to wear off of a 340 month sentence, thoughts of me being 70 years old when released left little enthusiasm of that release. What would be left for me at that age? What life would be waiting for me? Would I even make it through that much time incarcerated?
I had spent much time in the California prison system making a name for myself, so how would that factor in to this? Would I be forced to carry on that same legacy? Or, having already been done with that once, would I be able to find a new path in the Feds? So many thoughts go through your mind when you receive such a long sentence, and the answers do not come quickly.
It would take some time to adjust, and the mentality of the Penitentiary inmates does not make it easy, but as I was taught, the Law Of Attraction is always in effect, and I was able to gravitate toward men that had better plans for themselves than spending the rest of their lives in prison, even though most of them had been sentenced to 150 years, 213 years and even life sentences already. I quickly sought out the men who had the qualities and traits I so desperately needed if I was going to get home sooner than the courts and government had said I would. I clung to those men and every word they had to say. Every book they read, I read. Every class they took, I took. To become a success story, I had to emulate the behaviors of men who were already a success. And I did!