I have been trying to reach my dad for a few days with no success. Tonight I finally got through to discover that Diane, his wife of 20 years passed away. My dad, who has struggled with alcoholism for decades drank himself into the hospital afterward. I was the best man at my dads wedding all those years ago. Being unable to be there to comfort our loved ones in times of grief, missing out on all the family events for decades, not being able to say “goodbye” to loved ones before they pass; it is more than any words n a journal can express. I have long ago accepted responsibility for my actions and the heartache and destruction my drug use has caused, and corrected my behaviors. But it is at times like this that we start to say, “when is enough going to be enough?” Is the system determined to get every last minute of their sentence or will relief be offered? I know from men like Adam Clausen truly “Earning Freedom” is, and I following in those footsteps proudly, even if relief does not come. I am thankful for Michael Santos’ Prison Professors site and our ability to journal and share our experiences and our struggles. I thank the readers for their time and desire to better understand us. We are people who made mistakes, but we are people.
On a plus side, the GROW program is going great. The administration really seems open to ideas for incentives. I am utilizing the opportunity to get long overdue programs and equipment. MAtthew, my disabled buddy was approved for Danbury for their Skills program and will hopefully be back into court and get home soon. It was determined he is not competent to stand trial and should have been tested in pretrial. So that is a win and brings joy to my heart.
