Again I am reminded about the choices we face each day. As a drug addict on the streets, I always went with the wrong choice. Drug addiction kind of takes the decision making off the table. Every thing you do is to support your habit. Last night we had two medical emergencies due to two different guys unresponsive because of k2. It is hard for me to understand, after receiving a multi-decade prison sentence for my addiction, why anyone would continue that behavior. I try and remind myself that I was hardcore in my addiction and that these men just have not hit their bottom yet, but it still makes no sense to me. I recall how much I detested my drug use, and wanted to stop but was powerless to do so. I knew it was going to take incarceration to pull me away. Each day, each one of us have two roads we can go down, even here in prison. We can stay obstinate, or we can use. It is no less available just because we are incarcerated, and the fact that I have managed to stay clean all these years while many others choose to use, gives me confidence in my rehabilitation. It is a reminder to see these men like this. A reminder that complete loss and even death are just one use away. I never want to see the disappointment in my loved one’s eyes again because of my poor decision making. I never want to see the disappointment in my own eyes when I look into the mirror. I thank God each day for the strength to stay clean and on the right path.
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