I wanted to share an important lesson I learned while participating in the Paws With Purpose (PWP) dog program, training service dogs. So, I decided to write about the joy of connecting with my puppy, Bridget, and all that she taught me.
Let me begin by telling you about our relationship. Bridget was my third dog, a beautiful blond golden retriever. I had two lab puppies before her. They both loved my upbeat tone and responded well the more animated I became. So, when I got Bridget I began training her the same way. It worked wonders for my first two dogs, so why not her too? I was told over and over by PWP staff that Golden’s were different than labs. They were more independent, not very treat motivated, and a little sensitive.
I was so excited to begin training that I entered into it with the same enthusiasm and gusto I had with my two labs. I wish I could say the same for Bridget. The more I tried the more she looked away. She wouldn’t even take a treat from my hand. She wouldn’t respond when I called her name. I couldn’t understand what the problem was. It seemed the harder I tried with her, the more she ignored me. After three weeks I was absolutely miserable and flabbergasted. By this time with my other two dogs, they had learned several cues and looked at me with love and adoration. Bridget just looked at me sideways and if I asked her to “come here,” she ran to her kennel.
PWP staff arrived for a training session and to check on the new arrivals. When asked how Bridget was doing, I answered honestly, believing that I would finally figure out what was wrong with Bridget. I told her, “she doesn’t know her name”, she will not take a treat, and she will not look at me.” “Bring her out here”, the Director of the program said. I happily obliged only to watch a completely different puppy emerge. When the Director took off walking, Bridget followed, when she stopped Bridget stopped, never taking her eyes off of her. She gobbled up the treats and did amazing at the “here” game. The director handed me the treat bag, looked me in the eye with a smile and said, “well, it certainly isn’t the dog!” I was mortified!!!
Finally, one day I was at my witts end. You know the point at which you doubt everything about yourself and your abilities. We went out to train with some high value treats (beef liver) and I had no clue what to do. So, we just walked. I was silent. If she looked at me, I would treat her. After our walk I sat down absolutely defeated. She, however, looked up at me and if she could talk would have sighed and said, “finally some peace and quiet.” So, with a slow and quiet defeated walk we would begin and end our days. I would be thinking I was a horrible trainer and I imagine she was thinking, “finally I can hear myself think.”
Bridget slowly became more responsive and it finally dawned on me that she was just a different dog. She didn’t need or want the excited, enthusiastic training style I had used with the other dogs. She needed quiet love, calm love. When the light finally went on in my ever frustrated mind, we became a great team. I’ll never forget the day in class when I sat down in the grass with my knees bent. She leaned against my legs, looked back at me with LOVE and ADORATION, and sighed in contentment. I knew then and there that I was loved, I was in love, and we were going to be just fine. That was the day I had a little more hope flare up in me and a little more confidence as well. That was the day I knew I was someone worth loving and trusting. I hope she knows how much she helped me, how much I loved her, and how very much I needed her. As I look back I feel that she did. Once I became quiet and listened to her, she was able to hear me. She was able to give me exactly what I needed. Hopefully I was able to give her the same so she could do for others what she did for me . I learned this one small lesson out of the many that Bridget taught me…not everyone loves and learns in the same way. I have used this very important lesson as I’ve grown in my relationships with my family and my friends.
