Time.
Before I came into the FMC Lexington Satellite Camp AKA Camp Atwood, I watched Orange is the New Black to try to “prepare” for prison. At the beginning of the show, there is a song that plays from Regina Spektor called “You’ve Got Time”. I occasionally would actually listen to it instead of skipping ahead to the episode. They picked the perfet song for that series.
In prison, all you have is time on your mind. How much time will I be serving? Will I get any time off my sentence? What does the Call Out sheet say I have to do today, and what time? What time are the counts? 4pm, 9pm, 12am, 3am, 5am during the week. What time are meals? 6:30-7:30am, 10:30-11:30am, 4:30-5:30pm. What time are my classes? What time is the Rec Center open? It’s funny that everything is based on time in here, yet, the clocks are sparingly placed in the prison. There is one in the TV room on the 2nd and 3rd floor. There is one in the laundry rooms. There is one in the phone room. There is one in the Chapel. And maybe a couple others. But for a place that expects good time management, they charge you $99 for a watch. And $35 for a Clock with alarm in the Commissary.
Studies have shown that only 2% of individuals have good time management skills. I am actually one of those in the 2%. This used to drive my supervisors crazy, because usually they weren’t. So I had to adjust this “skill” to cater to the 98% and understand that most people struggle with this, yet it is an expectation of you as an employee. When I had anyone as a direct report, I would let them know the hours of which they were expected to work, but I wasn’t a clock watcher. I did that knowing most people don’t manage their time well. As long as people weren’t late for meetings, and got their deliverables back to me, I let them manage their time as they saw fit. Not so in prison. Which is hard, when you can’t afford a watch, and clocks are sparse.
This makes me have increased anxiety, as I don’t want to be late and get in trouble. This is a new way to experience time management unlike any I have known. When serving in the Air Force, they directed every move you made, and shouted at you if you weren’t moving fast enough. Here, you are pretty much left to your own devices, but with no help organically to be successful. A new wave of self-reliance over comes you. I now feel like the 98% who don’t manage their time well, and it gives me a new appreciation for those who don’t naturally have this skill.
Additionally, the guards check our rooms at 12am, 3am and 5am. A flashlight shines throughout the room, twice, by two different guards maybe? And without a watch or clock in the room, I never know which time the light is shining. This morning, I thought it was later than it was, and gathered my laundry to go do it, thinking it was 5am. When I got to the laundry room, I saw it was 12:15am. I went ahead and did laundry anyway. This is a new thing to get used to. I wonder a lot how this will affect me when I get out of here.
Anyone who is reading this, take a moment and think about how often you look at your Apple Watch, or phone, or clocks throughout work, on your computer or in your car to see what time it is. Or how many alarms and calendar invitations you have to remind yourself for an appointment or a meeting. And then, imagine all of those tools vanish, yet you are expected to never be late. That’s prison life at Camp Atwood.
