The window in my cell has been absent for the past two years. Many inmates have suffered with the elements in its absence- brutal cold, high winds, rain, hail, snow, etc, and it has been condemned twice that I know of. My bunkie Becky and I are the suckers of the season placed in the cell. The BOP has told the Unit Team there is no money to fix our window (nor any of the others in the prison), so we are getting creative on how to remedy the situation. My latest trick is to take a plastic garbage bag, and use heavy duty clear tape to cover the opening, and then place a flattened cardboard box over the plastic and more tape to affix it in place. Lots and lots of tape later, we may not have light, but it is blocking out the wind presently. I am hoping that this latest attempt works, as last night I slept in thermal underwear, and full sweats under three thin blankets and still froze. The temps were in the low 40’s last night, and promise to be that cold all weekend, so I am hopeful this new remedy is the solution to our problem. Crazy on how the end of May can be so very cold.
The lessons I learn while incarcerated are plenty, and include being resourceful in times of discomfort or need. Being in this particular prison setting, and having time to think makes me challenge former beliefs, and try to see differed perspectives. For example, we are told that for the next 4 days, we will be having sack dinners, as there aren’t enough staff to cover the cafeteria. I think a lot about the people who take jobs at the BOP, particularly the Unit Team and CO’s we are in daily contact with. The inmates don’t want to be in prison (obviously), but the Unit Team and CO’s don’t necessarily want to be here either. It’s like there is a disdain that we exist, or they feel the need to punish us further and make us feel less than human because of mistakes made to warrant our incarceration. There is little mercy or grace in prison, and it makes me think upon my own previous beliefs before becoming an inmate myself. Regardless of the crime committed, the women in here are mothers, daughters, friends, wives and significant others. They look like any person you would see on the street or in your own place of work. They have hopes and dreams and a lifetime of experiences. There are moments of compassion, and laughter, sadness and comradery in prison. Residing with over 200 hundred women in close quarters bonds you to women who you may not know otherwise on the outside, and makes you see just how similar we all are.
1 out of 4 Americans have been incarcerated. ONE out of FOUR. So, the next time you are outside and meet someone new, remember- they, or someone they know and love probably have experienced the hell that is the justice system. We need more compassion and grace and less divisiveness, and that is a lesson from prison I will carry with me for years to come.
