Journal Post – Women in prison
I haven’t lived in a facility with this many women since I served in the Air Force. At that time, however, we were all single, and in our late teens/early twenties, not at all thinking of being parents. Being incarcerated with 230 women at this prison camp is like living in a little community all our own.
While everyone’s story is different, and there are different reasons we are all incarcerated, we are all connected under various commonalities:
– We are all some one’s daughter
– Most have siblings
– Most have a significant other
– Most are mothers
– Most have been traumatized by the process of the justice system
– Most have trauma bonded over being incarcerated
– Most look out for each other in prison
– Most have felt the isolation from being away from those we love most
– Most have suffered some sort of emotional/psychological/physical and/or sexual trauma in the past
– and more
I think that people forget that people serving time in prison are PEOPLE. When sentences are given to people for crimes committed, they rarely meet any sort of rehabilitative criteria, but more punitive in nature. With a felony conviction, comes severe and harsh consequences for most people. That alone, limits inmates from most opportunities vocationally or even with traveling to other countries. I, being half Canadian, am no longer permitted to visit half of my family as a felon. That itself is one of the harshest punishments I have ever faced in my life. Considering I have only gotten a few speeding tickets prior to this, I hope this is the end of my dealings with the justice system.
Unless you have been stripped away from those you love for a long period of time and forced into a situation where you have absolutely no rights whatsoever, you cannot fully comprehend what kind of psychological trauma comes with incarceration. Also, being that most women in this prison are mothers, they are stripped away from their families, leaving behind children who are forced to live with other family members or placed into Child Protective Services. They have to fight for their rights to gain custody of their children, battling the justice system once again.
As a mother, I miss my children terribly. I am very close to my children, and communicate with them as often as I can through phone/video calls and letters. The visitation process here at this camp is delayed significantly, as the process goes through the mail, and takes months. I have not been able to see my children since I have been incarcerated, and it makes it very hard on all of us. I am grateful that my husband visits every weekend- those visits make the weekends more bearable. My being incarcerated is psychologically damaging to my spouse and my children, and that breaks my heart. I have spent many days/nights sobbing, missing them, praying to God, asking for mercy and grace, and their safe keeping while I am away from them.
Is the point of prison to be rehabilitative or a punishment or both? And for those who are truly innocent of their crimes, what true justice is there for those incarcerated and their families? I can say for certain there is no true rehabilitation in prison offered by the prison system itself. The “jobs” offered here are far and dew between and pay horribly ($8-20 per month for MOST jobs) For those with mental health issues, which is most people who are incarcerated, there is no accredited mental health care in this or any other women’s camp. I got far better treatment for my PTSD from the VA – it has been nonexistent here at the prison. Those who have severe drug addictions are housed with former drug dealers, and others, like me, who are here for white collar crimes, get quite an education about “that life” as it’s called. Regardless of the crime, I have come to realize that the prison community you are incarcerated with gives you a new insight into your resiliency.
You have to rely on the prison community “family” to gain strength, and even possibly a church family within to survive. Your resolve has to be strong, and you have to see your prison sentence as an opportunity for reflection and growth. I personally, am taking this time in prison to continue my advocacy and work to serve others, particularly those who do not have someone in their corner helping them. Within this prison- there are a lot of women who need help. And one by one, I will continue to offer support though assisting with letters, teaching classes in education and in church, and being someone who will listen.
To my children, friends and my loving husband- thank you for being by my side and helping me not feel so alone in here. I am blessed beyond measure, and do not take this for granted. And for those reading this who do not truly know me. Seek to understand, not judge. Any single person could find themselves incarcerated unexpectedly. We are people- just like you, trying to survive and hopefully thrive through one of the hardest chapters in our lives.
