June check in for prison professor
I am trying to maintain a positive outlook. Some times that is easier than other times. My goals for month of May were not met. We were on “lock down” for 3 weeks. Lock down means sit on your bunk all day, stay out of the day room, no leaving the dorm at all. They bring you a crusty PB and J and some other random food, usually another sandwich at meal time. It was my 3rd lock down at Garza West in less than a year. We got off lock down on Saturday and I was moved to Garza East Sunday night. West was an intake unit and East is a regular unit. They are the same exact thing so far as I can tell.
I immediately wrote to education to see if my move was related to classes I signed up for, it was not. I made sure my vocational trade school application was in order and asked the supervisor to please enroll me in any rehabilitation classes available. They have a cognitive thinking course and a parenting course. I spoke with the Chaplin here and asked to be moved to the faith based dorm, fingers crossed. Tuesday I went to Church Unlimited and Pastor Jeff vouched for me to the Chaplin, that was appreciated. The sermon was about perspective, Numbers 13 to be exact. Am I going to be a grape eater or a grasshopper? Powerful message. I am coming up on my first completed year in TDCJ. I feel like I have done nothing. Another year of my life wasted. Including County time I am 10% complete with my sentence of 15 years. I am doing things on Edovo and being as productive as I know how to but it often feels like I am stuck in quicksand. I look around and nothing has changed. At least 5 more years of this.
I will not lean on my own understanding, I will trust in the Lord. I know I am a different person than I was a year ago. I will be a grape eater. A really big thing just happened for my family so what am I to complain about? One day during lockdown my crusty PB and J was smashed up in the bag. Later on I was talking with my neighbor who is also a field minister. He told me about his Grandfather and Great Uncle and their service during WW2. One of them was a P.O.W., he would save bits of rice and wait till he caught a rat, stuff the rat with rice and eat it. He said it was like Thanksgiving. My smashed PB and J did not seem so bad anymore.
I will keep being as productive as I can. My goals were not met because of the lockdown. I should be able to accomplish them this month. I WILL accomplish them this month. 3 book reports, one hour a day on Edovo and physical training 4 times a week with an emphasis on cardio.
Thank you to everyone at Prison Professors and thank you to my family.
