I came into prison when I was 23-years old. I received a 50-year prison term for bank robbery and related ancillary charges. I started out in high security, which is where I stayed for nearly 10 years. Due to superior programming achievements I was approved for transfer to medium security three years earlier than my remaining sentence length would have otherwise allowed for.
I spent 10 years at medium security, where the same thing happened. Due to superior programming and saving someone’s life, I was transferred to low security three years earlier than my then sentence length would have otherwise allowed for.
I’ve been at low security in FCI Miami for a little over four years. It seems the more time that passes, the more work I take on. Work is like a muscle, I’ve found–the more its used the stronger it gets, the more endurance it develops. I’ve learned that it has as much to do with mental and emotional endurance as it has to do with the physical ability to remain sitting for long periods of time. I can now work from 6:00 am to 9:00 pm without issue. I get inspired by this because I remember where I started when I first came in, how difficult I had found it to sit, focus, and work for more than 10 minutes.
This month I will see my 25th birthday in prison as I turn 48. I don’t really pay attention to them, and I haven’t for a long time. But I’m just going to use it to see how much more work I can get into each of the 15-hour work days that will follow, seven days a week. Like a New Year’s resolution, I’ll treat it as a new opportunity for expanding further beyond the internal limitations.
I recognize how important this is as a practice. By internalizing a strong work ethic, I know it’ll give me a much better shot at succeeding following my return to society. So, in concert with a quote that I like, “I do today what others don’t so that I can have tomorrow what others won’t.” The only problem with this is, it starts to clearly reveal just how insidious the system is. Prison seems to have been designed to get people to do as little as humanly possible. Upon learning that anything we do or don’t do is creating a habit of doing/not doing that thing, I bucked, fighting to break free from the pull of “allowed nothingness.” And I push to help others likewise resist the pull.
And so we train in times of peace for war. Or, put in another way, we know a marathon of mega proportions is coming, so we train everyday in order to hit the ground running when that time comes.
Mainly I focus on helping people with their legal work. My primary concern is Compassionate Release, there being a LOT of elderly, sick inmates who receive little to no medical care. I spend a lot of time perfecting each motion, being one who’s obsessed with the details. But this is because I recognize that the person’s life is literally in my hands. I want to see them free, able to get the care for which their conditions call, and not die in prison. (I’ve seen WAY too many people die in prison, which always hits me hard even when I didn’t know the person.)
My 15-hour work day includes an hour of intense physical fitness. I do this mainly to counteract the adverse affects of sitting at a desk for so many hours and of having to sleep on a steel bunk/thin mat situation that, without a lot of yoga and working out, my body would become its own prison of hell. Thankfully the workouts keep me feeling great. (They also organically became an opportunity for life coaching, as more and more people became interested in working out with me. So now I have what in prison we call a workout “car.” (This is a group of guys who work out together.) So I organize workout routines that will challenge us to keep realizing personal bests. And I use the challenges as metaphors for life, instilling life-application principles that they’re able to roll over into other challenges.
My 15-hour work day also includes correspondence course studies, in law and in writing. And I receive numerous questions daily on every subject imaginable, many translating into research and the creation of information packets and action plans the person can take to accomplish whatever specific pro-social goal that they’re looking to pursue.
I also carve out time to make progress on the book I’m writing. And I spend time one day a week on my pitch deck and business plan for the business I plan on starting following my release.
A friend in his 70’s, who’s been in prison for 23 years, recently learned that he has cancer. His PSA levels have been elevated for years, in response to which he’s been trying to secure an appointment to establish a cause and treatment. Because the BOP waited so long, the cancer is farther along than it would have been if the BOP did its job when the PSA levels first presented themselves. But this is nothing new. (There have been numerous articles published and findings by the OIG on this type of situation.) So for the last week and a half I’ve only allowed myself the hour of working out, putting the rest of the work time toward his compassionate release motion.
Everything I do today I see as preparation for when that day arrive I return to society. I’d much rather walk out comfortable with all the challenges that will arise than caught off guard by them. Part of my preparation for this is learning to change with change, shift with the shifts, a trick I learned in mindfulness studies about being fully in the reality of the moment mentally and emotionally. (This is probably one of the most important lessons that I’ve learned. I don’t think anything would have allowed me to make days more productive and peaceful without having learned how to be in the moment.)
I have a few more to do after his.
