From Behind the Fence:
Looking at the life in this community I find myself in, for the 1st Thanksgiving from behind the fence I see the anticipation of the simple things like through the Inmate.com we were hoping for the rumor, that chow for breakfast was going to be a special Cinnamon Role, but didn’t happen. We did however, get a good Banana Muffin (2) so the frown turned to smiles and grumpy turned to Thanksgiving.
Through Prison Professors’ emails and Mr. Santos, I am reminded that this too will pass. Being down for such a short time and the adjustments to this lifestyle and getting used to, at an adult life over 65, being directed and told what and where to go is an adjustment and can be very emotional through all kinds of emotions, guilt and fears.
However, to Journal gives me the opportunity to self-reflect and become a self Advocate for my Release Plan. I have drafted 6 release plans and not submitted one. Yesterday, I realized through some of the emails from Santos, to approach this Release Plan as a Business Plan. The components are really the same just different names and the Release Plan is really a road map to your future behind the fence. So for me drafting it as a Business Plan made perfect sense because that release plan is going to change as time is served. My Celle gives me drive because he is content with go to chow, sleeping, and watching TV. He is now taking both prescribed drugs and self-medicating. Depressing to say the least, he is indifferent and says he will start when he gets closer to release in 15 year of his 20 year sentence, but he will never make that move. Today is the day to start as Mr. Santos has pointed out numerous times, it has required for me to take baby steps and bring the Plan into a world of work I am used to. I have written over the years several business plans. Nothing has to be perfect and it will always be subject to change as I change myself and write my new future.
” What a Mans’s Mind can Conceive, He can Achieve”. So I am mowing one yard at a time, crawling before I walk, and then run. Keep the Faith, Stay in Hope for this too will pass. There is a world out there that needs people like me and others to help the general population understand what this community System is really all about. Change is a positive result from experience and wisdom. Setting myself new goals and direction.
So Happy Thanksgiving. From behind the Fence.
Billy Marcum
Seagoville Unit Texas
