One of the things prisoners lose after serving years away from society is contact with the outside world. I can honestly say that, until a few years ago, all the friends I had were all former felons who’d stayed in touch after leaving prison themselves. It is easy to lose touch with friends if we are not near them and this is doubly true if our friends are incarcerated. So a way to alleviate the loss of friends is to make new ones and the best way to do that is to find pen pals.
There are many services/websites that offer to connect people for a small fee and many prisoners make use of these services. I have made use of them from time to time and two of the best influences in my life currently are two pen pals I met through one of those services. One of them is British and the other is German. I mentioned in my profile that I love all things foreign, thus I attracted many non-Americans, some who live in the States and some who do not. The two that have lasted the longest and are the most interesting to me are Justin and Markus.
Justin, the Brit, is amazingly well-rounded and we talk about almost every subject: politics, business, international finance, the environment, prison reform, animal training, gardening, the animals in his garden, history, and then connecting the history we’ve studied to the future we see on the horizons. He is extremely helpful in many of my activities, helping me with research or editing essays or letters I need to submit, keeping me updated on events or articles from hard to obtain publications I might find interesting. I value his intelligence, his humility, his sensitivity and his wit. He is one of the best people I’ve ever met, even if we had to meet through the mail.
Markus, the German, is a playwright and actor for a small German troupe based in Berlin. We developed an interesting connection through our love of art and through that correspondence he was able, with his coworkers, to develop a unique play focusing on American prisoners. As I understand it, there were three correspondents who found prisoners to write to and the play highlighted those experiences from civilian to inmate. After the troupe performed their play he would occasionally send me responses from audience members so that I could understand how the art we created affects people all across the globe. We still talk about art and its impact on humanity all while playing a game through the mail. I value Markus’s love of art and understanding of the creative process, his sensitivity and his ability with foreign languages.
Some people do not value connections to the outside but I have always understood that these connections help us remain tethered to society. The absence of those tethers allows some individuals to get lost within prison culture. I do not want to be cut off from society. It is to society that I wish to return and if I am not connected to society, or the people in it, then it will be so much harder to return. Those tethers also give me goals to aim for within that society. If I am cut off from it, then what can I aim for with my goals? Talking to Markus and Justin allow me to remain connected to a larger society, one that operates globally, not just within my family or small circle of former-felon friends. Additionally, their friendship expands my focus so that it doesn’t narrow to the point of limitations for former felons. I can keep my eyes on the horizon and not get lost in limitations. It is always refreshing, too, to talk to people who have limited experience with prison so that I can learn new things or hear about things in another country or culture. I think having pen pals has allowed me to retain a sliver of my humanity.
