Today is the first day that I sat down to use the resource that a friend give me.. Thank you Nicole Bezjon for pointing me in this direction.
Over the last 23 plus years of my incarceration I have had to learn some hard truives about self and the people that I knew before and the one that I’m still leaving behind. This is a self journey of discovery and growth and inter-personal-input. I have had to first come to grips with the fact hat I am alone at the end of the day and that no matter a person best intention they can not and should not do this time for me and more importantly, with me. Yes I know that that seems like I have given-up on them and when in fact I am giving them grace. So many time we find ourself holdiing on to people that we should set free to live for them self first and be the grestest we want to see in them.
I let go: In letting going of this, The pain and disappointment goes with it. I no-longer carry the baggage of those two thing. not that I don’t feel them at times, it’s just that, They no longer control my thinking about how one should act and or not act concerning things that I request and or want. or in some cases need. My family (mom. dad. brothers, sisters, children, baby-momma’s ) and friends, did not come to prison; I did! They do not owe me anything. And anything, whether it’s time, visits, money, etc. is a blessing and gift that I did not earn and should not be up-set, when they are with-held or not given.
Today is the day I hold on: I have to hold on to the goodness of God and his Grace and mercy, I have to hold on to the fact that it could always be worse. I have to hold on to the fact that every-now-and-then They do show up for me. And on that, I found My peace.
AnDreco Lott
Founder of America’s Incarcerated Matters
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