The month of September has flown by in a flash. I celebrated my 43rd birthday on the 11th of September. As the month rounded to a close, I inwardly reflected on my thoughts, actions, and mindset over the last 30 days.
My day starts a little before 5 a.m. each morning. I purposely have my head lie facing East when I sleep so I am awakened seeing the massive Venus star that shines bright most mornings through my window. Some mornings the star shines so bright, it lights the entire sky. On days when I awake and star is not visible, I decipher the clouds are heavy, and the air’s humidity may lean on thickness. Over the September days, I have been anticipating cooler weather and less humidity.
I always rise and give thanks for the day while looking out the large window in my room. My room is the first door to the right once you enter the wing in my unit. So when the correctional officer makes his morning rounds at 5:00 a.m., I usually render him a slight nod good morning while making my bed or tying my shoes. My ears are tuned to hear the noise of a waistband full of keys jingling when he passes by with his flashlight, taking his early morning census count of all of the inmates here in the prison camp.
The stars in the sky quickly draw me dressed, and my instant Columbian coffee, cream, and sugar that I have pre-measured in my coffee mug, only need hot water to jump start my morning. By 5:30 a.m., I am waiting at the back door for the correctional officer to make eye contact that we are clear to head outside to the track, or the outside gym to workout.
I take most mornings here to walk around our dirt track in solitude for a walking prayer and to center myself. The track here is composed of compact dirt and 3 laps measures 1 mile. I walk at a slow pace only being conscious of the magnificent sky above me, and the present moment. Some people listen, but when you really want to change, we have to engage the faculty of hearing. Walking in silence activates my hearing.
Around 6:00 a.m., I take a seat under a large oak tree positioned on the South corner of the track. I will sit here for 10 minutes and watch the sky begin to break open with the coming of day. The sky turns from black, to a shade of dark purple, then to a light lavender before the blueness begins to illuminate through darkness. I find beauty in the polarity of darkness to light. The remedy for absence is presence. Each morning as I witness the absence of darkness replaced by light, my day is now present, and I’m ready to face the world.
On my early morning walks, I condition my mind to walk with a rampage of appreciation and gratitude. Over the last 9 months, my heart and soul have shifted and changed for the better. I attribute my conscious and calmer approach to life due to me being a consistent meditator. Meditation has given me much clarity and peace through it’s stillness. I have discovered creativity and balance through me having intentional time to focus on my inner being.
My inner being smiles bright most days as “my smile represents my past, and my heart represents my future”. I reflect backwards to say I cannot have any regrets, but only lessons learned to prepare me for the future that I am thinking about now in the present.
I have daily thoughts, and take action steps preparing for my release. I find myself constantly checking in with my mind, seeing areas where I am too comfortable, for I know to continue my development and consciously grow, my comfort zones must be disturbed!
Goals are very important to me and my families well being. I believe a goal is just a goal until you write it down, then the fuzziness comes into vision, but the vision is first created through my imagination. I find inwardly focus, and being present with my thoughts allows creativity to flood my mind, and keeps me able to flow with the currents of life, instead of against them.
I love how things are lining up. I enjoy the sifting and sorting of my thoughts, ideas, and visualizations that play over in my mind as I construct my success plan and receive the answers that are always given to me when I ask. I know that whenever we ask, the answer is given, and whenever we ask for guidance, our non physical teachers are always here and available for us to call upon them. My inner being knows my guardian angels have an assignment to watch over and guide me, and it’s my job to learn how to stay in sync, balanced, and work in harmony with the spirits connected to my soul.
My thoughts are inspired by my internal fire for greatness. I see a lot of people who have good intentions keep going “backwards”, but this is because they are afraid to face tomorrow. We can’t deal with tomorrow until we face the present day!
Each day I face my situation, I have a choice to make either consciously or unconsciously. My evolution continues to come from me having the courage to look adversity in the face and reply with relentless optimism. My reality is always pointed North because I have developed the mindset to be able to handle my emotions through understanding the importance of emotional intelligence. I also attribute my emotional IQ growth to meditation.
I have an “instant check in question” I ask myself when my emotions flare.
Why do I feel this way?
Do I really want to set this emotion into action?
The first step of understanding my emotions is to be aware of the emotion. Following the feelings of the emotion leads me to it’s source. Once I identify whatever “it” is that has caused the flare, I can then consciously decide how I want to proceed.
I have learned that once I step out the emotion, and become a careful observer of my feelings, I can usually turn my emotion downstream pretty quickly, and find it easy to RESPAWN, before I RESPOND. This is the real work of my soul’s search for growth and concludes my “THOUGHTS” in September.