I read Fathered by God a little while back, sometime just before the Holidays after being released from prison, and it’s one of those books that keeps coming back to me—especially in moments when I’m trying to figure out who I am and what kind of man I’m becoming.
Eldredge lays out a powerful framework for masculine growth—not as something we achieve on our own, but as a journey we walk through with God. He talks about six stages every man goes through: Boyhood, Cowboy, Warrior, Lover, King, and Sage. Each season builds on the last, and the key thread running through all of them is this: we’re meant to be fathered—not just by human dads (who were often imperfect), but by God Himself.
That hit me deep. I’ve tried to lead, protect, fight, love, and even serve without really letting God father me first. I’ve pushed ahead, often alone, without receiving what I needed to grow. This book reminded me that I don’t have to prove my manhood—I need to receive it, stage by stage, through surrender and trust. And I need to offer the same thing to my sons.
One of the most freeing ideas was that it’s never too late. Even if some stages were missed or wounded, God can still meet me there and heal what was lost.
Proverbs 3:11–12 says,
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
That kind of fathering—the loving, steady, present kind—is what I’ve needed. And I’m starting to let God do it. Slowly. Honestly. Imperfectly. But intentionally.
If you’re a man trying to understand why you feel stuck, angry, uncertain, or just tired—this book is worth revisiting. It doesn’t promise an easy path, but it points to a good Father who still has more for you. We just have to let him father us.
