Why did I choose this book to read?
One of my cell mates name is Mr. Joseph, and he recommended Relentless Optimism as a must read. He made me aware he was given the book by someone who told him the same exact thing. He told me it has been a book he has bought for many people, and once they read the book, they end up recommending and buying it for others as well. He told me the book was an easy read, but it was packed with useful tools to help me in my life. Mr. Joseph rarely gets excited or strongly recommends things, so his recommendation peeked my interest.
What I learned from reading?
My son’s name is Major, and he is 11 years old at the time of this writing. We read this book together, and almost every evening, we spent 15 minutes discussing each chapters key points, and how we can apply these tools in our life to be better versed at dealing with adversity by being mindful of our attitudes. We learned how our attitudes shape our life. Through studying this book with my son, it instantly made me more accountable as a father because I have to not only teach my son the correct way, I have to live out these actions the correct way. It is not always what we say, it is how we live.
In Relentless Optimism, points were reiterated that you first have to BELIEVE. Your belief is essential. There may be times when people do not always understand your passion or desires, but that is ok. No matter what anyone thinks, “Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.”
We learned new perspectives on how to apply optimism in our life. What exactly is optimism? Optimism is not positive thinking. Optimism applies logic. Optimism teaches in life bad things will happen, but there’s a correct, and an incorrect way of handling bad news. Optimism teaches you that no matter how well suited your plan is composed, obstacles will pop up, tough situations will arise, and rough patches will cause you to crash into the side rails. When the crash happens, optimism helps you to choose the best body shop for repair to get you back on the road again headed in the right direction.
Optimism teaches you how to deal more responsibly with negativity, and how to to see the bigger picture that is often hidden inside the graveyards of a negative situation. Learning how to not avoid failure, but subject ourselves to learn through our life’s experiences.
This book uses the acronym L.I.E. to describe how to deal with negative events. Most negative events are a LIE.
L: Limited
I: Isolated
E: External
When something negative happens, “optimists” see the negative situation as “LIMITED”, or partial to a single moment. Once the event happens, it’s over with, and you have to accept it and move on. Just because the event happened, it doesn’t mean it will happen the same way the next time, but you have gained a valuable learning opportunity to better you if it occurred again.
Optimists learn to see that negative events are “ISOLATED” to that one specific area. This one event will not spill over into anything else if we don’t let it. For example, if you find yourself engaged in an argument with a loved one, and you are upset with how you handled your emotions in the heat of the moment, this doesn’t mean that your entire day has to be ruined. There is no reason to let an “isolated” event affect your family or mental health. When we learn to recognize this and compartmentalize these events, we quickly learn that it’s all in our mind.
Optimists are conscious that “EXTERNAL” things outside of their control can lead to negative events. Keep what’s perceived as failure in it’s place on the outside. Do not let it turn internal. Keep the event impersonal, not personal. Optimists apply a mindset of not letting a negative event deplete their confidence. Failing at something does not classify you as a failure. It simply means you have encountered an adverse experience, and now you have the opportunity to learn from it, and next time have a better experience.
The opposite of being optimistic is pessimistic. If we don’t safeguard our mind and put a bubble around our space, it’s easy to fall into the trap of negative thinking. People who operate unconsciously, especially after a setback, tend to feed themselves spoonful’s of lies which in turn starts a cycle of new unwanted situations in future events, and these pessimistic thoughts get buried deep inside of them. Once these thoughts are buried in our subconscious mind, they are easily sprouted to the surface of our conscious mind and negativity becomes our present unconscious vibration.
Most people are not aware of our self talk. Most are not conscious of what we silently say, and sometimes speak out loud for others to hear about ourselves. Most are not conscious of how we react and respond when uneventful things happen to us. Pessimistic thoughts creep through the crack in our minds when the earthquake happens, and we accept that this attitude is the way we are wired. We are only wired that way because we have hard wired this circuitry in our brain from bad habits that need updating to new software. All of our brains software is reprogrammable!
How will I use this book to help me upon my release?
Being a convicted felon, and someone who lives in a caste society that has laws and stipulations in place that make anyone who has been impacted by the justice system live there life more carefully, I have to remain optimistic about my life. These challenges not only affect me, but they can have an impact on my family as well. The spillage of my failures affecting another person’s life in a negative way is a feeling I want to erase, and is a driving force that fuels my planning and strategy efforts preparing for my release. Turning my failures into a triumph will not be easy, and will require me to employ optimism over opposition.
“Optimism starts with becoming aware of your thoughts and beliefs. You have to clearly identify your fears, worries, and other negative thoughts before you can overcome them.”
Anyone can be an optimist for a small situation, a week, maybe even a month. Most people find it easy to be an optimist when things are going smooth. But eventually, something will happen to throw us off course and challenge our positive outlook. I know that becoming a master optimist is a life long commitment to positive thinking.
My son and I will use this book as a reminder that no matter what happens, we control how we choose to react and respond to any situation. It is a reminder to never leave home without our “Mind Moat”. This is the mental shield we should place around our mindset before entering the world each day to shield us from being incumbered by negative forces. We will also use this books lessons as a reinforcer that once we understand these lessons, and gain knowledge on how to use the tools, it is only up to us to apply the applications in our lives.
“The thoughts you let into your mind and the way you talk to yourself determines your mental potential. And like Bobby Knight used to say, the mental is four times more important than the physical.”
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