Bio Part 2
I feel like my background was a huge part of why I started doing criminal activities. I grew up without a father so I had a huge hole in my heart where my dad should’ve been. I tried to fill that hole with anything and everything only to find that no amount of money or drugs could feel it. When I came down I still felt empty. I will say it did make me tough though. I never really “fit in” in anywhere after high school was over. I got grouped up with some people that absolutely meant me no good but they made me feel like I belonged. I continued to sell drugs even though I knew it was wrong, but in reality, I was just taking more mothers and fathers away from their children by feeding their addiction. I was a nuisance to my community and did nothing to contribute to society as a whole. My criminal behavior also put a wedge between me and my hero, my big sister. She stopped talking to me and wrote me off and it really broke my heart. She was the one who always took up for me when I was little and I hurt her more than I ever intended to. I’m still working on making amends to those I have harmed. At this point, I cannot talk to my children. I have been writing a journal for them and just letting them know I think about them everyday and I plan on giving them the book when I get out. They are now 16 and 14. I know I don’t have anymore second chances with them. If I let them down again they might not be so forgiving. I have written letters to others I know I have caused direct harm to apologizing. The reason I feel like my story is unique is the fact that I am the girl who lived. You don’t meet many people who make it through a 10 year long heroin addiction and live to tell your story. Most of my friends have overdosed and died while I have been incarcerated and I think this sentence really saved my life because I was headed toward death too. Despite me constantly putting myself in dangerous situations, I’m still here, still standing, still strong. I wish I would have found this workbook at the beginning of my sentence because it really has helped me focus on preparing for release. Now that I have it though I’m using it to help me build the solid foundation on which I will build my release plan.
