Journal October 20 2023
I have not wrote an entry in a while, but I have not let up on my goals. I am almost at the end of orientation phase for RDAP. I will transitioning into the next phase next month. Horticulture has been slowing down for the fall season in terms of propagations and overall plant growth. We have started “winterizing” all of our potted plants. They have been returned to our greenhouses for remainder of the fall and winter seasons. Now during live hours we are mainly focusing on just removing annuals, watering, and textbook work in the classroom.
The biggest crisis I have ever faced is receiving my current sentence. I am doing all I can to prepare for success, but I have learned a couple of very important lessons. I have learned that if I use, its over. I have learned that in order for me to maintain my sobriety, old friends are not an option. There is no going back. At this point in time, I have my Mom, my sister, my two brothers, my son, and that’s it. I have learned that I have impulsive behavior. I have to slow down my thinking and really consider the consequences to my actions from here on out. I have learned that I use a passive style of communication. I am learning tools in RDAP to combat this and learn to be assertive. I have come a long way, and I am so proud that I am finally learning to love myself.
