His Birthday!
Tomorrow is my son’s 11th birthday. I’ve tried to mentally prepare for this to be one of the toughest days of my sentence; however, no level of mental preparation eases the sadness of missing his birthday. Each birthday, we celebrate with family and have a separate party for his friends. Since my arrest in January 2020, as birthdays, holidays and other special days approached I wondered if it was the last one for awhile. His birthday was no exception. I tried to make each one memorable and fun, hoping that it would somehow make up for the future one I’d miss.
The truth is that we can’t accumulate a surplus. No matter how much we do to prepare for anticipated shortages of time, it doesn’t change reality. That’s why being fully present and enjoying each moment is important in finding happiness.
Although I won’t get to see, hug or kiss my son on his birthday, I can reflect on the special memories we created in the past and devote time to planning for his next birthday. I hope he can forgive me for being absent this birthday, and I pray that he knows how much I love him and would do things differently if I could. Sadly I can’t.
What I can do is learn from the past and live a little differently. I can be an example of redemption and self-improvement. My consequences have been lessons for me as much as they’ve been lessons for my kids, I hope.
Happy birthday sweet boy.
