My name is Stacie Caldwell I am 57 years old and raised 4 daughters and after my father died in 1991 I realized I was a meth addict. Throughout my life, I wasn’t always on drugs I am old enough to where I see a pattern. My dad died I found out I had a problem with meth, my mom died 10 years later I ran to meth, my childhood love cheated 3 years after that and I ran to meth and then I started to get into legal trouble, selling meth. This last time I was clean for 14 years loved my life had a great job I was very proud of my daughters were almost all grown and I could afford anything I wanted all on my own then I met a man and he broke my heart I lost my job, I ran to meth. As a result here I sit in federal prison I needed mental health counseling and never have had it, I am waiting to get into the FIT program and pray RDAP but they are all so full it’s hard to get into a program. I started mental health counseling on the outside when I was on pre-trial release at home I went a few times and I found out that is what I have been missing most of my life: the skills to cope with trauma. So I made it my goal to ask for help while I was here. There is no NA or AA so I reached out myself to get help working the steps I have a great sponsor out of Georgia and she helps me in my recovery. I am hoping to get help if not I have set it all up for myself when I go home. I don’t want to be in legal trouble again and I definitely don’t want to relapse again so I have to do whatever it takes so this does not happen. There needs to be more help in the prison system like I said I reached out all on my own to get some help. I am every day preparing myself to go home and live my “best life”, I am learning about God and I read AA and NA books every day I try to be a positive role model to others here and not be negative or get into gossip or I try to be the person I have always known myself to be honest, dependable, strong, helpful I see so many here that come on theft charges and are still choosing the same behaviors. I am not one of them I do not want to be what I was before I came I want to be who I was always meant to be. My main goal is to be a drug counselor and I hope I can get help to make that happen. I am not perfect and I struggle at times with life it’s not easy but my worst day sober is so much better than my best day high. I love who I am and my family is still in my corner and they deserve to have me live my “best life” just as I go.
