Month Two Assessment;
Hard to really believe this has been two months. Reality is really starting to set in now. In one respect it seems like I have been away from my family for a year already. In another respect it feels like I could do this (camp life), if needed, if I just settle into a good rountine and keep myself busy. The hardest part is obviously being away from my family especially my 6 and 10 year old boys, and this seems to hit in waves sometimes. I know even my friend John has mentioned that reality is setting in for him and his family, as little issues are cropping up that he would normally deal with and can’t, especially associated with their business. I feel the same thing in some minor respects as well.
I have also met some other individuals at camp that I have may never talked to normally on the outside. “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” comes to mind. Like Steve who said in an initial conversation “he would kill himself if he was never able to do LSD again” or hear his stories of how he grew up eating dinner at 11p, playing video games from 1-5a, and then taking some Adderall and going to school for 7:30a. And when you talk to Steve you see how much he has read and retained, and his depth of knowledge on various topics. Then there is “C”, who looks like a professional football player, but when you talk to him you find out how much he loves astronomy and all his telescopes. Or Jose, who has lived a life of addiction to heroin, cocaine, and alcohol, during the last 45 years, which he has been in and out of prison multiple times, but this time with the grace of God, he has detoxed through some significant withdrawals, and has come to know the Lord, and it’s so exciting to see his new found joy for life, and zest for learning the Word. He has been instrumental in starting our bible study on Thursday and Sunday evenings. Then there is David, a Chinese inmate, who has very generously taught me Qi Gong, an oriental, movement, energy technique.
Spiritually, in a couple books the Serenity Prayer has “popped up”, which talks about controlling what is under your control, not worrying about what you can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. This brought me back to my Grandma Sherman who had this prayer on the wall in her kitchen. A gift! Also, I have read another one of John Eldredge’s books that talks about learning how to hear from God, which I’m praying about and trying to improve upon by quieting myself, focusing on my breathing and clearing my mind to hear from Him. Which this ties into Pastor Brooks, who leads our bible study, and while in conversation with him he mentioned an observation of me that he noticed a heaviness surrounding me and that he felt that I needed to breathe and let God “flow” more in and through me, which prompted the reading of Breathe by Rickson Gracie, a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu legend.
On a personal note, the repetitive lockdowns have been very annoying, especially when they lock the computer and TV rooms, which means no email communication. This is due mainly to issues with building #1 and some inmates contained within (I’m in building #2). So the reaction from the Team Manager seems to be mass punishment (entire camp punishment vs catching and punishing the individuals responsible). A lot of this is speculation because there is never or very little communication, like this happened, so you are all going to lose this privilege or be locked down etc… Really treated like 2-3 year olds, and maybe that is what we are, and what we deserve. On a brighter note, I do continue to find value or self-worth in helping others with natural health information or suggestions. And I do love two different radio stations, a Christian one 91.9FM, and a variety station 101.9FM (at work). I love how the music brings up past memories or seasons of my life or gives me something to pass on to a family member or reminds me of how God cares for and values me and provides hope for me in this season of life.
